A Privileged Position

Privilege is a touchy subject. Oftentimes, it can be relative and dependent upon the players involved. Sometimes it even just depends on where they are.

I don't consider myself privileged. I'm not working, i.e. not rolling in money. I'm a woman and that is only beneficial if it's attached to a role I would play, namely as a spouse or a mother. I'm not in my own territory (country), so I can't say anything, or at least I have to be very careful, about sharing things that I may feel, believe or presume. I'm not a member of any majority group (unless you count Arema supporters, arguably the best local soccer club in Indonesia - woo - may catch it on that one!) In short, I don't feel very privileged.



How I feel, however, and what I say really doesn't matter, because the fact is, I am privileged. Just because of my skin color and my nationality I have unearned privilege. It doesn't mean people will like me, help me, or listen to me, but when most people see me, they think I have money and sometimes even that I'm luckier than they are because I'm a foreigner and I'm somehow "special".

It seems that some people with such perceived privilege come and eat that up. They enjoy the extra attention. They enjoy being able to say things authoritatively and actually just being paid attention to.

I don't like it. I don't want to be treated differently. I don't like to be with Indonesian friends who are waited on after me or who are treated as if they were my hired help. Yep, I don't like it one bit.

And when I don't like things do you know what I can do? I can say something (already touched on how that may work out) or I can go back to the US. And that is privilege. Whenever anything happens that I don't like or agree with, I can go home.

And sometimes I think that's one reason why I haven't gone home ... yet. Not only because I don't want to flaunt that privilege, but more than that, I don't want to reinforce the stereotype that foreigners just come here to see what they can get and then leave. That's not OK.

When I came here, I made a commitment. Not to stay as long as it was fun. Not to stay as long as I was making BIG bucks. Not to stay and try to save the world. And most of all, not to take advantage of an economic system that would allow me to live a life much more luxurious than I could live in the US. I don't think that's cool.

My commitment was to come here...and to be here. Be here. Not DO here. Be here. That's hard.

I've joined a group of Indonesian English teachers on Facebook. I love the exchange of ideas, the thoughtful input from friends who teach, and even the affirmation that things I've noticed really happen.

That being said, it's hard not to have some pretty concrete ideas concerning the ills of the education system here. I like to share, but not to bash or judge, because it's really not my place. Additionally, from all I've been reading lately, the state of public education in the US is in the tanks, so I have no business saying anything about anybody else's system. There are a couple of native speaker teachers, however, who have shared too freely and have raised the ire of some of the members of the group. They were speaking from an assumed position of privilege.

Privilege is a touchy subject.

Being a teacher here affords an elevated status. Being a native speaking English teacher? Well, that's even a notch higher. Being a male, native speaking English teacher? Well, that seems to hit the jack pot!

Teachers are expected to have the answer. All the time. I was once advised by a very smart college professor here that if I don't know the answer, just give it my best shot. The students expect me to know and I can't seem to be uncertain about something or they'll lose confidence in me.

So, there's pressure to step into that place of privilege and "play the part", but for some of us, we know what a slippery slope that is.

I don't want to do it. I won't do it. I just hope that I'll know what to do when I need to.

And I hope that it'll be the best thing possible for someone in such a state of privileged flux to do.