Bathing with Pride

For those of you who have read my posts before, I think you know that one of my favorite things about Indonesia is the kamar mandi, or bathroom.

My kamar mandi

There are many reasons for this love. They are EASY to clean, you can splash water EVERYWHERE and they're SIMPLE. Finally, it's easy, easy, easy to leave one feeling much cleaner than when you went in. They're just great. The large structure to the left (bak mandi) holds clean water for washing and splashing. I've yet to see a house with piped in hot water. There are sometimes tanks, but the usual way is one temperature of water, one faucet. The scoops are to collect the water and throw it around. A kamar mandi functions like a large-scale birdbath with scoops. It is just awesome.

My new house is in the mountains. The water in the bak mandi is, more often than not, FREEZING. That's OK for a morning bath - very refreshing - but in the evening or early mornings (just when the sun is coming up) it is TOO cold for me. I often get happy on Saturday nights remembering that I allow myself hot water for my Sunday morning bath; I bathe around 5:30-6 for church. Hot water is pretty special. I don't want a big heater on my wall, so I boil a big kettle of water and put it in a big plastic basin. It's a pretty luxurious treat, really.

Today I've been piddling around the house; slept late and did some house work, dog walking , etc. In short, I delayed my bath until evening...and that's when the water is FREEZING and cold baths are not fun to me.

It's funny how the most simple events can be transformed into opportunities for spiritual growth.

I've always had to keep a tight rein on my pride. Well, I should take that back. I don't have to keep a tight rein, it's really simple. I don't feel ALLOWED to feel pride...it seems that if I'm ever proud of something, I lose it, it breaks or it's taken. I believe that humility is my only option and that replacing pride with gratitude is a surefire way of being able to keep things that are meaningful to me. Cultivating gratitude is MUCH better than nurturing pride!

And then it hit me...

I wasn't treating myself to one hot bath a week and lots of cold ones because I was grateful. I was doing that out of a sense of pride. I don't need warm water. I'm not a baby. I'm a strong independent woman. Warm water is for wussies (except at 6 in the morning on Sunday!)

The focus of our pride doesn't matter, what matters is that we have a sense of pride. Prideful feelings are bad, not the focus of those feelings.

So tonight, I had a warm bath. And it was awesome. I can have cold or warm, but no matter. Whichever I have is going to be because I'm grateful to have the option, not because I'm too strong to need such comforts.

You may be asking "But what about being proud that my kid makes good grades?" I would say, how about being grateful that your kid has the ability to make good grades? Proud of your home? How about being grateful that you have a job to buy such a nice house or enough time to keep it clean and take care of it?

Pride is a sneaky thing. Sometimes we think we're being grateful or we're being strong when we're really just being proud.

I love my kamar mandi. I love taking a bath (mandi). But even more than that, I am grateful that something I love has shown me something that I really don't love. And that is a false sense of pride.

I don't want to be proud. I want to cultivate gratitude. And sometimes all I need to remind me is a nice, warm bath.