On Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!  I've never really had a bad Valentine's Day, but when asked to give a presentation about the history and traditions of Valentine's Day in the United States, the first things that popped into my head to talk about were the bad things....the kid that didn't get very many Valentines in his decorated envelope in first grade - maybe he was dirty, or poor, or God forbid! Abused and damaged - not real sociable, in short...the high divorce rate in our country...the commercialization of  love and the consumerism that not only drowns Valentine's Day, but turns weddings into spend-fests and detracts from anything remotely resembling the love of which we dream as youths...

I'm an idealist - I'll be the first to admit it.  Unfortunately, it's a very fluid transition for idealists to become the nastiest of all cynics - especially when we see that things aren't as they "should" be.  I've done my time as one of those and I've chosen to try my best to never limit other people, or myself even, by the harsh judgement of "should".  So the question remains - why did I automatically associate Valentine's Day with all those bad things?

Living here in Indonesia, even with its thousands of motorbikes and cell-phone dependent populace, my newly-arrived eye sees a very straight-up kind of place, but also very kind.  It's real.

Houses are built in a way that doesn't force them to compete with nature, but to cooperate.  My house is open AND closed.  I can close up my room, but walk out into the living area that is almost like a covered courtyard (I have to look up to see that space was intentionally left for air to flow freely without allowing in any rain)

When I order a meal to go,  I don't receive more packaging than product - my breakfast (when I eat out) is wrapped in brown paper with a tiny plastic bag holding the piece of chicken and succulent broth.

In one of my offices, I've noticed a smart reuse of paper that creates paper pads and scratch paper.  In addition, neither of my offices has a bunch of paper products - cups, plates, paper towels - we have washable items and real towels!  It's like being at home! I often think about how things such as this impact the landscape - if you only have a handful of trash to burn at the end of a week, is burning it really that bad? (I don't know the answer to that one - just hypothesizing ;-)

And people get married.  They not only get married, they seem to stay married (for the most part).  It could be that I've seen a fair share of couples who are obviously in love - some of them in spite of religious differences or other social constraints, but this country seems to be infused with love - of self in the modesty of many of the men and women, of place in respect to democratic principles, of history in honoring a diverse heritage, and of foreigners as shown by the hospitality I've received as a guest in this gracious place.

Anyway - I guess what I'm trying to say is that life here seems to me to be INTENTIONAL. (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/intention)  I do feel as if we're trying to get to that place in the US.  We want to be there.  We're trying to gain an awareness that creates a better world - we talk the good talk...

And that's got to be why I had the negative associations of Valentine's Day.

In reading a little to prepare for my presentation, I read that one of the most common legends of the history of Valentine's Day relays that Valentine was imprisoned and eventually executed for basically fighting the status quo.  Whether or not it was because he married men and women in direct defiance of law, or he healed a blind girl with whom he fell in love, or even that he fought against the powers that be by not converting to the specified religion, he operated intentionally and with LOVE.  Are we ready to do that?  I hope so.  Happy Valentine's Day.  Let love rule.