New Year's Eve Reflection

Music has always been a foundation for me. It's been my go to source of comfort for many years...as I've said before, it often goes hand in hand with my faith and my relationship with God.

As is typical for me here, I am in a constant state of confusion. Contradictions abound and it often seems as if the only way to make peace here is to conform to behaviors that are antithetical to what I believe; dishonesty, objectifying others, making assumptions...these things are negative to most Western people, but here they don't seem to have the connotations that we (Westerners) employ for them...so...internal conflict. Having this awareness threatens to pull me back into a realm of cynicism from which I thought I was permanently free.

Anyway, this morning I bowed my head into deep and serious prayer.

"Dear Lord, please help me. I need you. I'm slipping. Please take me up. Please don't let me fall into negative thinking, hatefulness and prejudice. Please" 

I prayed that over and over until I felt His hand.

Then I turned on my iTunes. Shuffle. The first song that played, Light My Way from Audioslave.

And I'm tired and depressed 

And when my mind goes astray 

Won't you light my way 

Don't save it for another day 

Won't you light my way 

Thank You. I thought You heard my plea. The second song? Red Hot Chili Peppers. We Believe.

To see the bird without a care

For in a word it's nice out there

In a tree my mama bear

Will be all right with proper care

Hey hey, hey

Boomerang into a bigger bang

A little cry of love because they cannot sing

The motive, the measure

The purpose, the pleasure

The risk, is it worth it?

The disc, is it perfect?

I found you amongst them

The flower with young stem

Disparage, the broken

We Believe

That was nice. The last song that was in the message rotation was Blood Red Skies by Judas Priest. I knew this was the last one because the timbre had changed. This one is a pick and choose for meaning. But the point?

If that's my destiny, it'll have to be

So I'll face the future

Running out of time

I'm on the line

But I'll go down fighting

Felt the hand of justice

Telling wrong from right

Threw me out upon the street in the middle of the night

Never surrender

As the sun goes down

I won't give in to fear

2012 was a difficult one for me; many beliefs, much trust and openness, much of my capacity to love was challenged. I regret none of my decisions. I know that I do things that rock the status quo. I believe I'm supposed to do that. I believe that sometimes we get stuck in ruts from which we can't escape until we learn that we can. Some people have to get out the rut to show others. We never have to live in ways that are imposed upon us and cause pain...and we are never, ever, ever supposed to accept, without question, institutions that are supposed to provide a place of refuge for the broken or love and safety for the members to be used to hide abuse, exact human-initiated punishments and impose the maintenance of a status quo that is fortified and strengthened through fear, judgement, and threats.

As human beings, we're not perfect. To assume that we can be is the height of arrogance. I don't want to be angry. I don't want to feel hurt...but more than that, I don't want others to feel that way either. And I'm not tired yet.

My Charlie Brown Christmas Tree

As many of my friends in the US know, the season of Christmas is my favorite of the year. I love the festivities, the special music at church, thoughtfully selecting just the right gift for friends and loved ones, as well as splurging on those I don't know whose names were taken from an angel tree or other similar place,  and certainly, my Christmas tree.

My collection of ornaments include old ones from my childhood, Azze's ornaments from her childhood, and many cool and unique ones I've picked up over the 20+ years of being an adult. In addition to the sentimental ornaments and the Christian inspired ones that fill the branches of my trees each year, I've amassed a collection of animals - owls, a giraffe, a tiger, frogs, a gorilla, parrots, animals of beaten, colored tin from Mexico and many, many more. Creating a focal point of love in my Christmas tree has always been a favorite activity of mine...and I miss it.

My tree, Christmas, 2010

When I first moved to Charlotte in 1991, my Christmas decorations were little more than some special items on a small table with ornaments taped to the wall adorned with red ribbons, but every year after than, no matter what, we had a big ol' Christmas tree...in the early years, I would drag that big tree up the stairs to my condo, all by myself for Azze was still a little child. In short, I've had a big, beautiful, aromatic Christmas tree for 20+ years.

Last year, my first Christmas in Indonesia, I only had a bit of Christmas cheer in the form of decorations in my house, but I was OK with that. We all know the first year is the "one" that is a little different.

Decorations, 2011 (that's Javanese Jesus in the middle...)

For this year, I knew that I needed to prepare with a large houseplant that I could use. Evergreens exist here, but are a bit expensive and not quite the same as what I usually have, so flexibility is key. The plants that we in the US are accustomed to using in our homes are the ones that grow freely here, so finding something that would thrive inside the house was a challenge...a challenge to which I surrendered, I might add, because I had experienced failure a few times and I don't like playing with living things that way. I decided to buy something this year and call it good.

The trees I see most here are artificial with balls and garlands. There are some exceptions that are unique and creative, but in the rare instance when I see a tree, because they are artificial with no "sentimental" decorations, they usually are not what I think of when I think of a tree.

A tree made of coconut husks in a very popular store...a refreshingly thoughtful interpretation

This year, I looked around a bit for a real tree or plant that would survive inside for the month. In addition to being a bit expensive, I just wasn't feeling the pull to try and make something like that work.

I saw a picture on Facebook of a very simple decoration, 4 or 5 limbs attached to a wall with lights and some simple decorations. I thought it perfect - I'd try that.

Scavenging in the open area that is my "front yard", I collected some sticks to use. The open space in the front of my house is one of my favorite things about being here and since this is the last Christmas I'll spend in this house, I thought it appropriate to use things from around here.

The beautiful cluster of bamboo trees in front of my house, gazed upon lovingly by my friends Kelly and her husband, Ganda.

Sometimes when we can't have exactly what we'd like (I'm not rolling in money this year, so I'm employing a little known tactic of financial restraint this season) we have to think of creative ways to express what we need to express in alternative ways.

After the sticks I collected were assembled, I thought that just attaching them to the wall insufficient. Why not a standing, 3D tree? No green, of course, but at least the shape could be there. Soon, with the help of my very best friend, I had a dimensional "tree"...

Isn't that a sweet "tree"?

Such a "tree" as this can't handle a lot of heavy decorations, not in weight, but in principle. I had put together some little paper ornaments from batik wrapping paper and used them first...I took some paper plates that I used for gatherings last year and assembled a tree topper with the thought of the star, but also the meaning of Christmas...when love came down. Picking random things from around the house and backed by a string of lights attached to the wall (I had to tape SOMETHING to the wall, after all - it just wouldn't be the same if I didn't) my "tree" became my tree...

I'll still add some green garland, maybe...but I think I'm finished. When I look at my tree, I appreciate the simple things, but most of all, I appreciate what this season means to me. The gift of love upon which we Christians have built our faith. The coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, who came to save the world, not condemn the world and who told us, in no uncertain terms, God loves us.

Merry Christmas to all and may love fill our hearts this season and always.

This year, my decoration staple...adorned with tokens representing those I love and hold in my heart every day....

Sharing and Caring

Today I happily joined (for the second time) an awesome group of smart, talented and professional teachers who, in addition to those qualities, share another: They love their students.

We will get together regularly to discuss best practices, challenges, opportunities and advice to help students learn English.

Many teachers here teach at more than one place, and as a result, have a wealth of knowledge to share and much experience.

Today we talked about different ways to encourage and motivate students, as well as practical ways to respond to the varying competency levels that are often commonplace in an English language learning classroom.

One of the things that inspires me the most about this group is the sincere concern for the well-being, emotionally and intellectually, of the students. This group teaches, or has taught, students of every age, from diverse socio-economic backgrounds, and of varying competencies. One message was quite clear today: the students need to know that we care and that we love them. We're not there because we know everything or we're so awesome. We're there because we care.

And we're going to regularly spend time together to share, learn and grow so that we can do the best for our students.

Currently, I am not teaching formally in a classroom. I am committed to taking some time to improve my Bahasa Indonesia, getting a better grip on the nuances of this complex culture and developing my teaching skills.

I am so thankful for this group of people who have invited me to participate in this awesome and love-filled endeavor!

Macan. (Little Boy) TIGER!

When my cat Raden Jinjibu Kartini died from apparent rat poison a few months ago, I decided that I understood why so many people here won't get really attached to their pets like we do in America. It's a rough life here for animals. Too many things can kill them. The stories abound of dogs being poisoned, cats eating poisoned rats or poisonous frogs and dying...

Macan (front) with Kartini not too long before she died...they finally would get close to each other, though no love yet...

Today Macan died. It seemed to be poison, as well. I tried a new approach with him. Kartini had been fixed and was a bit spoiled - I tried to let Macan go natural...and spoil him as much as I could, but I thought maybe he'd have a little more immunity if I didn't tamper with his natural ways much. Oh well.

Macan came to me much as did Kartini. I wasn't looking for cats, but they found me when they were maybe 5 weeks old...Macan may have been a bit older than Kartini when he found me, but not by much. My friends and I had gone to eat and when we got out of the car, a little cat was basically screaming at me to come talk to him. I did, then left him to go eat. After I finished dinner, he was at my feet, meowing again. My friend said that I should take him home - the owner of the place handed him to me and that was that. He was a good boy, sweet and loved to be held. His little feet would just dangle and he'd nuzzle into me. Very sweet boy!

Macan had two homes - here and with my neighbors. He was well-loved and well taken care of. My neighbor, with whom I had already chatted about his sudden illness, had been nursing him with coconut water and milk. She seemed to think he was improving, but not. This evening she called me to tell me he had passed. I quickly went over and we buried him soon after.

I am very blessed with the love of my neighbors and with the sweet cats who came into my life. I think that I'll be careful about getting attached to any more animals...I hope no more want to come home with me, but if they do, I'll give them the best life I can because they deserve it, no matter how long they're here.

RIP Macan.

Peace Begins at Home...

...the Season of Advent begins on Sunday, December 2. I've got my lectionary ready and I'm preparing my heart for this lovely season of gratitude, grace and The Word made flesh.

As a part of my preparation, I have to get my heart right, but I've been having some trouble. Even though I feel less stressed than I've felt in a couple of years, and even though I am happy and see a bright future, I'm having trouble letting go of the past to fully embrace my future.

Throwing Out the Trash

Now at the ripe age of 44, I can happily report that my regrets are few. Sure, I've made decisions with consequences completely incomprehensible for some, but I have no regrets about those. The only thing to this day that I can actually say I regret is the way that I treated two friends; one when I was about 16 or 17 and one when I was about 27 or 28.

She was like a sister to me. I loved her so much. A little younger, I was kind of like a big sister. When she made some friends that I didn't think were "good enough" for her, I gave her hell. Yep. Purely. "What are you doing with those people? They're not..." fill in the rest with all kinds of socio-economic status BS and anything else ugly, I said it. Over and over. Harassment is the correct term. It ruined our friendship. We never rebuilt it. Of course, we stayed friends over some humps and bumps, but we lost what we had. And it was my fault.

The second person is also like a sister to me. She helped me so much as I struggled through college as a single-parent. We were friends and she often babysat my daughter. Without her, my college years would have been markedly different. I knew when my daughter was with her and her family, she was loved and well-taken care of. That's something that can't be bought, borrowed or stolen and I am forever grateful. Some time passed and my friend and her husband were having trouble. Shortly before they separated and divorced, she was involved in an affair. As a newly married and optimistic wife, I couldn't deal with the misery and strife in her life. I distanced myself...for years.

These two tragedies show that I let people go, nay, I cast them off and threw them away, like things not people.

I never paused to think that my "little sister's" new friends might be awesome. 

I never stopped for a minute to think that maybe my friend's husband had been physically and emotionally abusive throughout the entirety of her marriage and she was in pain.

The bottom line contains two segments.

First, I had no compassion for two people I loved. I had no capacity for understanding. No ability to reach beyond myself and no comprehension of what loving someone means. They did something I didn't agree with and that was it. And it was it. I treated two people I loved like family like trash. I've since apologized, but the damage is done. When someone in your heart and life "throws you away", it can never be the same.

Second, my friends did NOTHING to harm me, hurt me, violate me or in any way abuse me. They simply chose to do something that I didn't believe in, even though it was actually none of my business and had no impact on me whatsoever. In the position of judge, I overstepped my boundaries as friend and confidante. I was wrong.

I was wrong.

When I chose to leave home; my daughter, family, friends and community, it wasn't because I was out for some adventure. Most people who know me know I would've headed south if adventure was what I wanted. I discerned a call to come to Indonesia. I prayed. I reflected. I read. I followed. And I continue to do so. 

I believed that I was entering into relationship. I thought I was nurtured in the binds of mutuality and accountability. I'm not perfect, but I did expect that if I made a mistake, real or perceived, somebody would at least ask me what I was thinking. Why did I do it? I'm a responsible, usually respectful person. If I do something weird or out of character, wouldn't you think somebody would try to find out why? I anticipated an opportunity. An opportunity to share. To shed light on something really ugly that I uncovered and brought to light. But no.

The weight of social angst pressed down. People I thought were friends were gone. What I thought to be a relationship was really just a position. And I was no better than trash. Thankfully or unfortunately (depending on your perspective) I understand it all, because I've done it, too.

But I was wrong.

The Opportunity

Love people, use things. Not the other way around.

I've developed a whole new sense of compassion. I thought I pretty much knew everything; safe in my solid values, beliefs and social traditions.

We are all just human beings. None of us are perfect. There are things that we (culturally) agree on that are always wrong and that makes is easier to dwell upon our assumed plateau of inspired perfection.

But when we are free to realize our humanity - to embrace it, to move beyond labels and perceptions, the rights and wrongs, the expectations and judgment, we are more free to share love. And we are also more free to receive the gift of God's grace. We can understand the significance of The Word made flesh.

Being human is not easy. We are an imperfect lot. We've been called to love God with all our heart, mind and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves. If it were an easy thing to do, I believe Jesus wouldn't have spent so much time focusing on it. The fact is it's hard, but it's not impossible.

That's what I'm going to focus on this Advent season:  how I can be a part of building the kingdom based on love right here. It begins with kindness. It is not selfish or arrogant. And it never rejoices in the wrong. So I'm not going to focus on the wrong.

Not my wrong, not your wrong, not their wrong.

I'm going to focus on the light of love. And The Word made flesh.

With Gratitude

I decided that maybe if I entitled this anything remotely sounding Thanksgiving-y, it might be overkill...I've already read how some Facebook friends are tired of reading the "daily thankful" messages that have been so popular this month. However, I am in great need of cultivating some gratitude and I'm going to do it. Right here.

There are so many things for which I'm thankful...from the simple to the significant...I'm going to list as many things as I can think of...and I'm not going to sit here for 5 hours, so I may miss something, but these are a few of my favorite things (and people)

Kamar mandi. This is the name for bathrooms in Indonesia. There is a big thing for water. You take baths by pouring the water over you with a scooper. The traditional way has no hot water, no warm water...just regular. And it can be COLD. But it's fresh. My skin has never felt better! I LOVE my kamar mandi...one day I'll do a blog with all the different kinds of kamar mandi, from very simple to ornate...but for now, this is mine. I've scrubbed it on my hands and knees with a brush, but that sharp volcano dust doesn't want to budge. Had anybody told me that I'd LOVE a cold bath, I would have never believed it. Here it is common to bathe at least twice a day (it's even worked into day long meeting agendas) It's a ritual and it's a great one. I love it. And I'm thankful

Along the same lines as the kamar mandi, houses here are predominantly tile. If you don't have a bunch of clutter, cleaning is EASY and fun. You can slosh water everywhere and it's wonderful. Because I love to play in water - can't wash dishes without making a nice, wet mess - things that used to be a pain are now fun! I love all the tiles. I'm thankful for being able to maintain and clean and wonderful dwelling. 

I love the chickens that run free in the streets and everywhere. They make me happy and I'm thankful

I am thankful for the weather. It's never too hot or too cold, but it gets close to each one

I am thankful for the opportunity to share with wonderful people and to experience the beauty of God's love with a very special group of people

I am thankful for my neighbors who know me through and through and love me. They treat me like family and I am grateful for them.

I am thankful for the ability to buy delicious food, toiletries and household items for prices that are reasonable, if not absolutely too much so.

I am thankful for the opportunities to learn the language and to understand the culture better.

I am thankful for a stable internet connection when I have one

I am thankful for a cool cell phone that hasn't broken or done weird things

I am thankful that I've developed an appreciation for "sepak bola" (soccer) Viva Real Madrid! 

I'm thankful for the three wonderful cats that found me and loved me. They have enriched my life and Kartini, may she rest in peace, will forever hold a place in my heart. Siddhartha disappeared and never came back, but I hope that he is happy or at least that he didn't suffer.  Macan is a little wild boy with lots of friends and love - he comes for a little affection and then hits the road for more adventures...unfortunately, the only picture I have of him is of his unbelievably big sabre-teeth...he kind of looks like Kartini but without the white...and his head is bigger.

I am thankful for the delicious coffee that begins each day

I am thankful for my bicycle

I am thankful for the wonderful tailor who has made me beautiful things to wear and for the one who alters other things so that I can wear them

Now I'm going to close with some very serious things and call it a day. 

I am thankful for my health. Since I have been here, I had an upset stomach one day and a cold/flu...and that's all. That's what I'd have at home in 2 years with the love of God to keep me. I am thankful for my health.

I am thankful for my neighbors. They love me and make me feel so comfortable. I love them like family and I am thankful.

I am thankful for the family and friends who have been a constant source of encouragement, love and compassion. I have seen the Grace of God and I know His people. I am thankful.

I am thankful for my daughter who continues to amaze me with her determination, thoughtfulness and overall awesomeness. She is a blessing to me!

I am thankful for the love of my life who has shown me how to be a better person, more compassionate, more loving and less judgmental. I know why I am in Indonesia now. And I am thankful.

Most of all, I am thankful for my relationship with God and my faith. It's not always easy and it's certainly not always comfortable, but when I see and feel His movement, I am encouraged. I am thankful for the love and strength He gives me.

May we all take a minute to be thankful and express our gratitude, if for no other reason than to remind ourselves that as long as we're breathing, we have an opportunity to live. And I mean live. I am very thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving all - may yours be blessed with the love of friends and family, the warmth of grace and compassion, and the fun and food of the day. God bless you all. 

Power, Expectations, Reciprocity...and LOVE

In a recent post, I talked about how people view others to determine their "appropriateness" or even worth, and how the culturally determined methods to do that, in both the US and here in Indonesia, are the wrong ways. For instance, in the US, a person's value is how "good" or "bad" they are. Here, it's how well a person performs the functions society deems appropriate for such a person.

I posited that we shouldn't value others on what they do or don't do, who they are or aren't, but we should love others as we love ourselves and even to "Do Unto Others As We Would Have Done Unto Ourselves".

However, upon further consideration, I thought about some other things. For instance, do we treat others with love because we expect them to do something specific for us based on our "love" action? Additionally, do we treat others with some concept of reaping what we sow, or other karmaic idea of reciprocity? I would opine, if so, that both of these are wrong (a very Western concept, too, maybe...right or wrong...good or bad, black or white, but please...bear with me) as well.

So, maybe I was mixing some things...how we assign value to other people and how we treat other people, are very different things, but my point was that in all things, love should be the foundation.

Love is not love if it is attached to ideas of expectations, reciprocity or ANY idea of "return on investment".
Therefore, when we treat others with love, real love, we are giving something freely with absolutely no preconceived notion of what we'll get in return. If we're thinking any other way, then we are not acting with love, but with self-serving ideas of what we're going to get in return for our actions.

Apparently the "Do Unto Others" model is the basis for much philosophical discourse based on just those assumptions. (a simple Google search of the topic will yield results to read; there are just too many for me to list here) For instance, do unto others because WE WANT them to do something for us? (expectation based) Do unto others SO THAT they will do the same for you? (reciprocity based)

I will say now - and I believe it's the way. We treat others the way that we want them to treat us. Period. We're not concerned with how they treat us in return. We're not concerned with what we may or may not get out of the deal. We are talking about a one-way street. How would I want to be treated? I will treat them that way. I believe that's the beginning. And I also believe it's the end. Give without expectations. Love without measure.

If we're not doing that, then what, exactly, are we doing?

(thanks to my soul mate who happens to be quite philosophical and will humor me by serving as the devil's advocate)

Power or Love?

Being in an intercultural context can be quite a challenge. It doesn't have to be, but it can be. It we don’t pay attention, if we’re only looking to accommodate our own comfort, it’s not that big a challenge. If we are truly trying to engage and understand the culture? Participate? Have real friendships and relationships with other people? It’s a challenge.

All my life, I've often thought about how much easier it would be if I would just accept the norms. The problem is, I have a little trouble accepting norms, especially if they hurt people. I seem to have a different set of rules and perhaps they very rarely comply with what is socially acceptable. I like to think my rules are really just one: Do unto others as you would have done unto you. That’s the Golden Rule and some version of it is found in every single religion in the world. This rule seems to be the most perfect rule for human interaction. Free of cultural bias, social norms and traditions, punishment, power and judgment. And it’s always worked for me. Unless I get distracted.

Today I had an epiphany. I've been working on lots of things that I've yet to publicize based on my recent experiences. The basic definition I've followed to describe this kind of culture is this one:

“Shame is a reaction to other people's criticism, an acute personal chagrin at our failure to live up to our obligations and the expectations others have of us. In true shame oriented cultures, every person has a place and a duty in the society. One maintains self-respect, not by choosing what is good rather than what is evil, but by choosing what is expected of one.”

The conundrum for me has been that in the US, we focus on the "good" or "evil" behavior of others and what they “are” rarely matters. For example, “He’s a personal injury attorney BUT HE’S NICE”. Here, it seems that what you “are” is what is most important and you must choose the behaviors expected of you. “He’s a PERSONAL INJURY ATTORNEY but he’s nice”. What I realized today is that both ways are wrong.  Both are ways to determine the value of another human being. (Needless to say I believed that actions should be everything – anything as superficial as position or social status is obviously useless, but don’t we all know that actions can be acts, like being nice?)

A person’s actions and a person’s status are important. Both cultures place values on those things, but when one trumps the other, that’s when there’s an issue. For instance, what is NICE?

Even though I come from The South (a known shame culture, as well, but includes an action-based concept of “honor”) and I think I know NICE, it’s different in different places. The short end of the story is that we have to be able to experience more of a person. We actually have to build relationship. And that’s the hard part. Who has time for that? Isn't it easier to follow the established criteria?

There’s an awesome sermon by the Rev. Mike Kinman I used in some of my English classes called  "Eye Contact".  I hope you’ll take a few minutes to read it. It’s worth it. The message is that we are taught early on not to enter into true relationship with other people, especially if they appear to be different or are “the other” (whoever that may be for you).  Another reading I regularly used is this one, by Sebastian Junger (also wrote “A Perfect Storm”) called "Welcome Stranger". Both these pieces deal with how we interact with other people. And both depict beautifully what it means to build relationship, true relationship, one based not on social norms and values, but on the value of a human being. A human being. That’s all. And the world is full of us.

Now, back to my story. I was having so much trouble because I got distracted and started applying the “action” based value system rather than the “eye contact” or “welcome stranger” influences that are more in line with the “Do Unto Others” method. I can argue that I was at the receiving end of the status based value system and my cultural mechanism jumped in, but that’s a long, yucky story. This story is beautiful!

Sometimes, our cultural ways have nothing to do with love, kindness, status, or actions, but POWER. Plain and simple. Power to keep another person in their place. Power to prevent full participation in the marketplace of ideas. We often use the unearned power of privilege due to race, religion, gender, etc. to promote the results we want (or to justify a behavior or status  that we want) We can hide behind all kinds of cultural things and say that what we've done is justified. For instance, I’m from the US and we value honesty so I can say “Your outfit is really atrocious and I can’t believe you wore that to work” and then say ‘oh, I’m from the US and we’re just honest.” In this context in which being ambiguous and intentionally misleading is an art form, (certainly not malicious, but considerate and conversational, as well) ignorance can be claimed and excused, or intentional lies can be given to “save face”. The thing is, when culture is employed to excuse a harmful action, often the action was not meant to uplift, affirm, empower or encourage. Both examples are of pure meanness, likely power related, and using culture to excuse it.

Enter “Do Unto Others”. When we treat others the way we’d like to be treated, the cultural things take a back seat. Maybe it’s being kind. Maybe it’s just being honest. Or maybe not. But the kicker is that we’re basing our behavior on something other than power; on love. Love of self, maybe, but love. And love never fails.

And that’s how to build relationship. 

Food! Glorious Food! (Part 2)

I eat out a lot here. I've found good places and you'd be surprised how much a delicious meal costs. For 2 people, it's easy to have a wonderful meal for less than $5 and for 3 people? Less than $10! Of course, expensive food is available too, but I've discovered that it's never better food, just more expensive. As a former restaurant person, I like good food with a good price in a pretty place. And I've found a few such places here. 

 This delicious meal for 3 was about 8$. The dish to rear left is bubur ayam; diced chicken on rice porridge with  a julienned scrambled egg, peanuts and a thin, seasoned broth. To the right is nasi goreng; fried rice. The dish closest is basically a salad with tofu and peanut sauce and the fried stuff in the middle is tempe. The lovely pink juice? Guava. Yum!

Here's an example of me being hungry and forgetting to take the picture before  we destroyed the presentation! This is/was a whole chicken (the head was also attached at first, but since I had asked for it not to be there, they realized they left it, whisked it away and took it off for me) in Balinese spices and sauce, served with peanuts, a shallot relish, sauteed greens with hot sauce (with shrimp flavor; I don't eat that) and rice. The beverage in the bowls is called es buah - iced fruit and has diced fruit, sweetened condensed milk (or maybe coconut cream) flavored syrup, ice and water.

I'm a little embarrassed about this one...horror of all horrors, this is a chain restaurant!  But the food is consistently delicious and I need to feed myself. Here we have rice, fried chicken breast and wing, whole fish, 2 kinds of Javanese salad, fried tempe and 2 hot sauces. This meal? About 4 dollars (with 2 drinks, one is fresh guava juice)

This meal would be considered rather fancy; but still not too expensive...I'd say less than $10. Shown above is a sweet and sour fish dish  (fish called Gurameh, whole, partially filleted with the fried pieces on top), a Javanese salad, eggplant,  typical garnish of cucumber, mint and cabbage, soup, hot sauce, avocado juice and of course, rice.

My meal of fried noodles was only just ok (I should have had the chicken) but the place is awesome and I think the chef is professionally trained. It's the first time I've had an average meal there, so they're still on the list for sure. They do a great job - service, presentation, beverages and price. I had fried noodles with rice on the side (because if I only eat noodles I'm starving an hour later). The chicken dishes are braised leg portions in a cashew sauce. The beverage to the rear if a hot ginger drink and that awesome chocolate beverage to the left was unsweetened chocolate love....maybe with some coffee, not sure but very good! This meal? Less than $10 - TOTAL.

Because I live here and I think in monetary terms, I don't usually think of things in terms of American dollars but rather "oh - this is 50,000 rupiah (Indonesian currency, about $5)...that'll buy 2 bottles of beer, or 2+ trips to the laundry, a long taxi ride, 4 or 5 hair cuts, trash service for a month, a book or magazine (maybe),  breakfast out for 10 days, etc". I think in terms of what the money will buy, not how much it is in American currency, however, since I'm thinking that most of the people who'll read my food posts are American, I thought it would be nice to include prices...because I want to put it in perspective now.

A teacher here might make around $10 an hour, may also make $5 an hour...
A restaurant worker may may between $50 and $70 a MONTH (no tipping here - straight salary)
A house helper might make $100 a month
An office manager can make $100 a month, but because it's business, that amount is wildly variable.
A barista can make about $3 for 9 hours of work.

I don't know much about salaries in general, but I know the ones above, give or take a bit...so even if these meals are "cheap" based on American currency, they are not all "cheap" based on Indonesian currency. It's important to me to try and spread the love when I spend money, even if it's not much, and support small, local businesses...just like I do in the US. And it's especially important to eat delicious food; that's the only thing I'm high maintenance about...I think :-)

How Am I Doing?

I've listened to music my entire life. As I've posted before,  it guides me and even when I have no idea what's happening, strong messages come through and I know that it's more than a coincidence. Today music has freely flowed all day; from Yes to AC/DC, and icing the day's cake with Bob Marley. This morning as I prepared an American breakfast in an Indonesian kitchen with Indonesian cookware (have you ever tried to cook bacon in a wok? You don't need to try, if you haven't yet.) Yes was the selected background music.

It's been forever since I've heard this song, but as soon as it came on, I was transported to a time of youth, idealism and pure optimism.

The lyrics are repetitive, almost like a Taize piece, but in essence, they are:

In the morning when you rise, 

Do you open up your eyes, see what I see? 

Do you see the same things ev'ry day? 

Do you think of a way to start the day 

Getting things in proportion? 

Spread the news and help the world go 'round. 

Have you heard of a time that will help us get it together again? 

Have you heard of the word that will stop us going wrong? 

Well, the time is near and the word you'll hear 

When you get things in perspective. 

Spread the news and help the word go round. 

There's a time and the time is now and it's right for me, 

It's right for me, and the time is now. 

There's a word and the word is love and it's right for me, 

It's right for me, and the word is love. 

So that song is in my head all day, even as AC/DC blasts out Shook Me All Night Long and I sing along; I'm filled with peace and happiness...

This evening, the sun is shining, the weather is sweet...wafts from the speakers. "Ooooh! I love that song!" ("turn it up dude!" remember that commercial?)

The message? 

Sun is shining, the weather is sweet

Make you want to move your dancing feet

To the rescue, here i am

Want you to know, y'all, where i stand

(monday morning) here i am

Want you to know just if you can

(tuesday evening) where i stand

(wenesday morning)

Tell myself a new day is rising

(thursday evening) get on the rise

A new day is dawning

(friday morning) here i am

(saturday evening) want you to know just

Want you to know just where i stand

When the morning gathers the rainbow

Want you to know i'm a rainbow too

So, to the rescue here i am

Want you to know just if you can

Where i stand, know, know, know, know, know

We'll lift our heads and give jah praises

We'll lift our heads and give jah praises, yeah

A new day is rising. The time is now. The word is love. We'll lift our heads and give God praises. 

Many changes have happened recently in my life. So far, few people have asked me how I'm doing or what's going on, but I know exactly what I'll say if and when they do. 

A new day is rising. The time is now and the word is love. I'll lift my head and give God praises. I'm a rainbow, too.

Finally! FOOD!

A few people have asked me to post about food. Finally, after a long time coming, here it is. Please feel free to comment or ask me questions.

My first breakfast; instant oatmeal, 3 kinds of fruit, and coffee
 (those things floating in it are the grounds. That's the way it's made)

Far from my first self-prepared breakfast, the food here is fun, in abundance and CHEAP! Some of the big differences include the way it is prepared (some foods are cooked in big batches and held for long periods of time - the only hot thing on your plate may be rice...I don't eat that very often, but when I do, I have no problems, i.e sickness or anything.) Also, because this is a Muslim-dominant country, beer and alcoholic drinks aren't served in as many places, but as a result, the drinks are special and delicious - full of things to chew on (ice, jelly, fruit, fermented cassava, coconut, kidney beans, and more)

Before I moved here, I was mostly a vegetarian - flexitarian, if you will, but here I need to eat more meat because pinto beans and black beans are not to be found as we eat them.Tempe and tofu abound, but there's only so much of that I can eat. It's usually fried or marinated in a sweet sauce so eating a bunch, enough to feel as if I have enough protein, is sometimes a challenge. Chicken and fish have been staples in my diet, as well. The fish is served whole, as you'll see, and can be friend or grilled. Both ways are delicious.

Fried chicken is everywhere, sweet tea is the way to drink it  (or sugar with tea, similar to Southern style), hot sauces, both like Texas Pete and salsa, come served with every meal and of course, rice is the staple. If all day long you eat, but have not had rice, you've really not eaten. Rice makes a meal.

Enjoy the following pictures. I'll do a part two with more pictures when I get the photos off my phone and find the others...like fish soup with a whole fish in it

Firstly with drinks.

This delicious drink, es kacang merah 

(iced red beans), has a coffee/chocolate tasting

 base and includes kidney beans, 

grass jelly cubes, and ice. It's delice!

This is very common, es kelapa mudah (iced young coconut)
It's cocunut water with a little sugar or sweet syrup - this one had
 gula jawa (Javanese sugar) which is brown and tastes almost like molasses even though
the texture is granular and compact (sold in half-circle shaped disks usually) at first

This is one of my favorites. It's easy to find in the evening through street vendors. This one was served at a retreat. It's called Wedang Ronde (wedang is a traditional ginger beverage and ronde means ball - the thing in the spoon is of  rice flour with something like peanut butter or peanuts inside). The other floaties are jelly chewies (I think) and peanuts

Coffee's famous...
I don't know why we had to have so much this day, one is usually enough (I guess we were trying different kinds) Coffee is made by spooning the grounds into a cup, adding some sugar and then  adding boiling water. I love coffee with ginger (kopi jahe). That's what's floating in the small cups. It's Javanese ginger; not the big kind with which we're familiar for cooking...they have that here, too, but it's associated with Chinese cuisine, not Javanese coffee. The snacks we tried were fried tofu and a chicken mixture -maybe fish - steamed with rice inside a banana or palm leaf (there is a difference) :-) I think we had already eaten up all the tempe! 

One morning my coffee grounds reminded me of why I'm here...

One of the things that I really wanted to learn to eat here is fish. I know it's good for me, so I wanted to learn to eat it. I can and do, but I still can't clean the bones like the young girl I saw once whose bones looked like the common cartoon version when she finished. 

This place was one of my favorites...VERY simple, as you can see, but the food is fresh (they catch the fish and cook it right then). 

One of the many fish pools at "Morokangan" ( I think that means craving, basically)

The view of the rice fields behind the "lesehan" (floor dining - you sit on the ground or elevated floor and eat at a low table...or in this case, on the floor)

Before...

...after (not the same meal, but the idea's the same) usually all the green veggies are gone, too...maybe we weren't all the way finished, but close.

This meal was fantastic - the fish had been sliced before grilling, the vegetable to the left is fried eggplant, the selection of sauces and relishes included hot, sweet and peanut. The drink is like limeade. The green vegetable is called kankung and it's available just about everywhere. It's like mustard greens and collards, mixed, but is long and stalky. It was prepared with chicken, this time. Often it has a shrimp-based spice in it that I'm not too fond of, so believe me, I know how to ask for items without it. 

Not too long after I arrived here, some of the people with whom I worked suggested we have a party at the guesthouse where I lived. People would bring fruits and snacks to spend time visiting and eating. I visited a traditional market to buy the ingredients for the peanut sauce (over-browned them a little, the sauce shouldn't be this dark) The fruit with the sauce is called "lotis" and the party that happens when one serves this is called a "lotisan"

Making the peanut sauce with the flat mortar and pestle ("cobek" and "ulekan"). The slice of cucumber is the way to scrape it out when finished. I learned that from a dear woman on the street - I've posted her picture already on Facebook and she'll be in part 2 of this blog)

Some of the fruits and veggies ti dip in the peanut sauce - there's a really good crunchy thing that is kind of like a turnip but not tangy (that's the white stuff under the cucumbers and pineapple) The orange fruit is papaya (which is very delicious here - not as pungent as I've had before)

Traditional market...

Buying the spices for the peanut sauce - this nice lady is holding  tamarind paste...

I'm saving my favorite food for last, so in the interim, I'll share some random images. The first is the birthday lunch I enjoyed this year and is pork (! not commonly found here, but I've found some good places...the only thing is that at my favorite place I'm always too happy and hungry to remember to take pictures...I'll do better for part 2)

3 kinds of pork - the one on the top right is just like pork roast, the one in the center and
the one on the left have different sauces. The one on the left is minced, the one in the center is stewed. The green  is the kakung I mentioned earlier and of course, rice. The drinks are es jeruk (iced orange juice...made like lemonade but with orange juice...in other words, juice, sugar and water) The iced beverage in the center had kidney beans, ice and chocolate syrup. 

Fried chicken meal...tempe to the right, es jeruk again and es tape (fermented cassava with flavored syrup, ice, and grass jelly...I think that's it) The plate at the bottom of the picture is mine. It has the typical vegetables usually found with a meal ("lalapan"); cucumber, cabbage and mint leaves. I also have fried eggplant, a piece of fried tofu and some green "sambel" (kind of like salsa, but chilies instead of tomatoes)

This is the view behind a restaurant in my neighborhood. They serve pork. And these tables are low and you sit on the floor. I love this way to eat the most. Especially when the view is pleasant, the air is fresh and the food is good.

This is durian. King of fruits. This is one segment -sorry no picture of what the actual fruit looks like. This fruit is renowned for its pungent, onion-y flavor and the fact that many hotels and taxis won't let you bring it with you because the odor is strong. I like it. It kind of tastes like a caramelized onion custard...sweet, but definitely with an onion flavor. It is different, but I think the over the top reaction to it is a bit, well, over the top. Maybe I wouldn't want to smell it ALL the time though...hhhmmmm. 

This is a meal from a popular vegetarian restaurant. I had a tempe cake, salad, and tea with cloves, cinnamon and sugar. My friend and I shared mushroom sate (skewers-shishkabob - Indonesia is FAMOUS for sate) and fried sweet potato with guacamole. My friend had fried rice. I think she was drinking a veggie beverage with pureed greens and whatnot.

Pancakes and waffles with ice cream, chocolate sauce (or condensed milk) and shredded cheese are popular. I haven't found many sweets that I can't live with out and let me share with you: I am THANKFUL for that!

I just took this picture of a small restaurant where I've never eaten because they have The Police and The Beatles on the wall...I think Led Zeppelin, too...the photo is good because it shows "lesehan" dining on the left and regular table dining on the right. If you were to eat on the left, you'd leave your shows on the stair. 

And now for my favorite. This dish is popular and hails from East Java. It is called "Pecel" and contains blanched vegetables (the "real" kind also includes squash blossoms, or something like that)  with peanut sauce, rice and a peanut-crunchy-cracker. It is often served with tempe, sometimes with a piece of chicken, egg, tofu...I feel full afterwards; as if I got enough nutrition to keep all this body of mine moving. It makes me happy. I only have 2 pictures because kind of like the pork I love, I'm usually hungry and forget to take pictures! 

Delicious pecel from a street vendor. There's an egg in the foreground. The drinks are also my favorite, guava juice. 

This delicious pecel lunch was served in a lovely place in a close by city. The plates have the vegetables with peanut sauce, egg, chicken, tofu and cracker. The green vegetable in the middle is eggplant with "sambel hijo" (the green salsa like food - hijo, ijo, hijau=green) Oh and the beer? Bintang ("star") Nice lunch and lovely place.

lovely place...

lovely place...