Reflections on Leaving

Waiting.  That's what I've been doing for a really long time. Waiting has never been my forte.  I am a doer - an implementer, the one who makes things happen.  Hopefully, with age comes wisdom, but one thing that comes for sure is patience. I fought hard, but I lost and it's a good thing. Sometimes I surprise myself when events that once would've sent me over the edge don't even push me towards the threshold.

On Monday, I boarded a flight leaving the comfort of my loved ones and culture to live in a place on the other side of the world.  From what I've heard and read, the one thing that's necessary in order to successfully live in another culture is patience. Thank goodness that God knew what I needed when I didn't.  It is in that trust that I will leave, and live. 

Discerning a Vocation  (I like to think of it as submitting to the will of God) isn't an easy thing to do, especially when you think you know everything (as I always had).  Beginning about 6 years ago, though, I've been on a journey.  Not being able to continue in the manner that had sustained me throughout my adulthood, I faced dead-ends, frenzied messes and surreal catastrophes.  Broken and hurt, I was humbled. It's amazing, though, because when you're down you have at least 2 options.  You can stay there and complain or you can submit your ego to a process and rise up.  At this point, my affinity for getting things done saved my life.  Presented with the challenge of how I would shape my future, I knew I had to make some changes.  Fortified by the faith that has always sustained me, I was redeemed...and lifted.

I still struggle.  And I plan to always struggle.  For one reason, I'm not perfect.  I have some interesting thoughts on things that will keep me in some kind of endless conflict and I still have a feisty disposition.   But when faced with the challenge to maintain the status quo or rise, I will rise.  "Without a concerted effort there can be no glorious achievement."

The first item on my list of recent achievements is climbing over the me that always got in the way. I'm looking forward to travel the path ahead with renewed eyes, a replenished heart and a curious mind...and patience!