In a recent post, I talked about how people view others to determine their "appropriateness" or even worth, and how the culturally determined methods to do that, in both the US and here in Indonesia, are the wrong ways. For instance, in the US, a person's value is how "good" or "bad" they are. Here, it's how well a person performs the functions society deems appropriate for such a person.
I posited that we shouldn't value others on what they do or don't do, who they are or aren't, but we should love others as we love ourselves and even to "Do Unto Others As We Would Have Done Unto Ourselves".
However, upon further consideration, I thought about some other things. For instance, do we treat others with love because we expect them to do something specific for us based on our "love" action? Additionally, do we treat others with some concept of reaping what we sow, or other karmaic idea of reciprocity? I would opine, if so, that both of these are wrong (a very Western concept, too, maybe...right or wrong...good or bad, black or white, but please...bear with me) as well.
So, maybe I was mixing some things...how we assign value to other people and how we treat other people, are very different things, but my point was that in all things, love should be the foundation.
Love is not love if it is attached to ideas of expectations, reciprocity or ANY idea of "return on investment".
Therefore, when we treat others with love, real love, we are giving something freely with absolutely no preconceived notion of what we'll get in return. If we're thinking any other way, then we are not acting with love, but with self-serving ideas of what we're going to get in return for our actions.
Apparently the "Do Unto Others" model is the basis for much philosophical discourse based on just those assumptions. (a simple Google search of the topic will yield results to read; there are just too many for me to list here) For instance, do unto others because WE WANT them to do something for us? (expectation based) Do unto others SO THAT they will do the same for you? (reciprocity based)
I will say now - and I believe it's the way. We treat others the way that we want them to treat us. Period. We're not concerned with how they treat us in return. We're not concerned with what we may or may not get out of the deal. We are talking about a one-way street. How would I want to be treated? I will treat them that way. I believe that's the beginning. And I also believe it's the end. Give without expectations. Love without measure.
If we're not doing that, then what, exactly, are we doing?
(thanks to my soul mate who happens to be quite philosophical and will humor me by serving as the devil's advocate)
No comments:
Post a Comment