Judgment, Justification and Jive

I just learned a new term this week: Altruistic Punishment. I unintentionally discovered it when I read a book review for "Trial by Fury" related to the Amanda Knox case.

Experiments show that when some people punish others, the reward part of their brain lights up like a Christmas tree. It turns out we humans avidly engage in something anthropologists call “altruistic punishment.”

It roughly states that we, as human beings, seek to punish people who did not directly hurt us, but who have gone against socially accepted norms, or are perceived to have just done something WRONG.  Altruistic punishment refers to the desire to punish those deemed deserving of such and the motivation for the punishment is that these people have committed a crime against the social norms of the community, therefore the desire to punish them is justified.

As I looked for more information, I realized that there is a wealth of information related to altruistic punishment and the most telling for me and for the purpose of this post is this quote from an article in the Science section of the New York Times:

"...in the Jan. 10 issue of the journal Nature, Dr. Ernst Fehr of the University of Zurich and Dr. Simon Gachter of the University of St. Gallen in Switzerland offer evidence that people will seek to punish a cheat even when the punishment is costly to them and offers no material benefit -- the very definition of altruism. The researchers propose that the threat of such punishment may have been crucial to the evolution of human civilization and all its concomitant achievements."

To think of punishment as the flip side of compassion is quite new to me. 

Of course, punishing people for their “wrongness”, if you will, is the purpose of law, but it this case, I'm talking about social punishment which has, it seems to me, at least 3 components; seeking to punish based on a judgment (based on a sense of right and wrong, good or bad), then a justification for that judgment, and finally, the jive of making all of that fit together as if we’re doing the right thing by actively seeking to punish someone.

We, as Christian people, are told in no uncertain terms and in a very direct way, that it is not our job to judge others (there are many other verses, as well, but these popped into my head first)

Luke 6:37

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; 

condemn not, and you will not be condemned;

 forgive, and you will be forgiven"

Matthew 7:5 

You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye,

and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from

your brother's eye. 

We quickly can ignore this, however, when we feel that someone has acted against one, or more, of the Ten Commandments. Commonly experienced, however, is that the chosen Commandment is usually one that reinforces social norms rather than reflecting the bigger picture of the Biblical story of love.

For instance, alongside with “Thou Shalt Not Murder” is “Thou Shalt Not Lie”. Other than Bill Clinton, how many people are dragged over the coals for an untruth or white lie? What about “Honor Thy Father and Mother”. If your parents wanted you to be a doctor and you’re a retail sales clerk, have you dishonored them? Should you be punished for that?

The point I’m trying to make is that we selectively choose rights and wrongs based on our cultural leanings, often ignoring one to choose another that is more in line with our accepted “social norms”. In doing so, we can justify these judgments indefinitely by creating a kind of hierarchy of “better than/worse than” scenarios. For instance, to kill someone is worse than lying to someone, or lying to someone to exploit resources from them is worse than killing a convicted rapist. Stealing seems to have a bit of leeway, for instance Jean Valjean in Les Miserables had to steal to feed his family, but should we kill him for it? Isn’t there a bit of “give” when we think an act is justified?

I’m beginning to believe that this is why we are instructed NOT to judge others; the criteria is not consistent, the justifications are malleable and the jive is, well, jive.

Not one of us is free from the desire to mete out punitive vengeance on another person, especially one we deem to have done WRONG.

Not one of us is immune to the desire to punish others for their real or perceived wrongdoings; even the most gentle soul may happily applaud a lengthy prison sentence given to an animal abuser. 

I've been mulling over this issue for quite some time and there are no quick and easy answers. Many people who know me well know that I have a very tight list of “rights” and “wrongs”. It is wrong to hit children, abuse another person (verbally, emotionally or physically) ESPECIALLY spouses and children, it is wrong to be lazy, it is wrong to not work to take care of your family, it is wrong to waste money, it is wrong to take advantage of systems meant to help, it is wrong to take advantage of our skin color, status, or educational attainment to elevate ourselves above others…I could go on and on. I have lots of beliefs about right and wrong BUT…

I’m learning. 

I’m learning that those are rights and wrongs for ME and how I should act; I cannot impose my beliefs on other people. It’s not my job. The only person’s actions I can control are my own and it is not for me to seek punishment for those who do things that I believe to be wrong. This of course also means that it is not anybody else’s social job to judge and punish me for a deed, real or perceived,  based on cultural bias, open to interpretation or easily justified with the same jive talking that makes it easy to judge the act in the first place.

This is not to say that there are not "good" behaviors and "bad" behaviors, but in this changing world of increased equality, globalization, and technological changes, maybe we need to work on the skills of dialogue, understanding and respect. Maybe we should strive for an elevated sense of humanity - one that doesn't grab onto the fastest, easiest answers and assumptions; maybe a more love-based humanity. Maybe like the one Jesus talked about.

Social norms have always changed. What was once good for the community may or may not be today. One thing is certain, social norms will continue to change and evolve, people are more mobile and interconnected than ever before. Power structures are shifting. In light of these leaps and shifts, perhaps we should be aware that often our deep seated desires to punish others are based on limited cultural concepts of right and wrong, good and bad. Maybe we need to learn to communicate, to listen and to seek understanding. And then either let the courts handle it or give it to God, but I think we have better things to do.

Friends...how many of us have them?

Two songs popped into my head today as I thought about what I wanted to share. Two totally different songs; the first is the rather sweet one best known from the Golden Girls TV show (Thank you for being a friend...), and the other a commonly quoted hip hop song from my high school days, Friends, by Whodini.

These two songs reflect the constant conflict in my head that shifts from an almost innocent appreciation and idealism and the other a harsher, less-trusting view of the world.

A friend from the US posted on Facebook today how it hurts so much when you realize that people who you thought were friends really weren't. I responded to her that it certainly does - I experienced the same halfway around the world and it's taken months to get over the bitterness of it.

This post isn't about bitterness, though. It's about blessings.

Last night, I gathered with a small group of people for dinner; some of my very best friends. We are a diverse group, 2 from Indonesia (different parts of the island of Java), 2 from Greece (1 from Athens, 1 from Sparta), 1 from Australia and 1 from the US. I could further label us into subgroups, but that's not my point; my point is that even though we have 1 thing in common, we're all educated progressively-thinking people, roughly the same age (with one exception), we have different opinions on many things; the gender identities of women and men, the institution of marriage, the role of art in culture - what IS culture, even - and many other things. The thing is that sticks out for me, however, is how we listened to each other with respect, good-natured laughter and love. We tried to understand each other's perspectives and we all, I'm sure, grew in the relatively short time we spent together.

On Facebook the other day, I posted a status of thanks. I have such a diverse group of friends; conservatives, liberals, traditionalists, people of faith, agnostics, progressives, geeks, party-people, world-travelers, people who've never left their home countries, and I could go on. The thing that I love about my friends is that we never shut the other out - we may have different ideas about politics, morality, what it means to be a _______ (fill in the blank), but we do so civilly. We do so, consciously or not, with the end in mind to grow intellectually and/or spiritually, and the beginning of that journey is respect, appreciation, and even love.

There's a saying from where I come as follows "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar". Why do some people not understand that it's so much easier to hear, comprehend and reflect on things said and not screamed? When I was younger, I used to love a good yelling match, but the fact is, they're not effective. Even if you're scaring somebody into compliance, it won't last. As soon as there's a way out, they're gone, so what good is anything if it's forced?

Maybe another reason I love my friends, even the ones with whom I disagree, is that if we know we get overheated about a certain topic, we tread lightly, but can still say what we believe. We don't try to change the other - we don't denigrate, judge and hate. We dialogue.

Dialogue. The world would be a different place with it, that's for sure.

With the group of friends last night, we had nothing resembling disagreements, but we regularly had different paths of understanding that had led us to our common beliefs. We weren't trying to change any minds - we were only sharing. And laughing. And listening. And loving.

That's the kind of world I want to live in. How about you?

Opportunities and Challenges (Teaching English in Indonesia)

In January of 2011, I arrived in Yogyakarta, Indonesia to teach English, assist with teacher training and provide "native speaker" insights. The following are some reflections about the opportunities and challenges I've experienced, as well as a few tips that I believe will help Indonesian people improve their English mastery.

My background includes coming from a family of educators and people who believe in life-long learning. Additionally, I received my undergraduate degree from a college (now university) that focused its educational goals based on the liberal arts education model. The goal of that kind of education is to create a "whole" person; one who knows a bit about just about everything and most of all in the chosen field of study. I transferred schools twice (transferring from one university to another is rather uncommon, as best I can tell, in Indonesia). Each time one transfers, a loss of credits is bound to happen. In short, I took many more classes than are reflected in my major (my major was political science, but I took a hefty load of classes in the areas of biology/natural sciences and psychology, too)

This background information is important because it shows the way that I view education. We are not supposed to only "know" some things, but we are supposed to cultivate a love of learning, a curiosity and a desire to understand. We not only learn these things in books, but we communicate with others, we read and discuss opinions that differ from our own and we have an acute awareness that anyone who purports to have all the answers or claims to know everything probably doesn't.

During my short career in teaching which officially began at Central Piedmont Community College in Charlotte, NC USA, the people I've taught ranged in age from about 18 through late 40's (never too good with determining ages, but I believe that to be about ball park). I treat my students as adults with a passion for learning. I want to impart as much enthusiasm, encouragement and empowerment to not only use English well and with individualized mastery, but also with an attitude towards expanded learning, in general.

A common adage is "Knowledge is power". It's not meant to be used as an oppressive power towards other people, but a freeing and liberating state that can open doors, innovate, and ultimately, change the world. (At least that's my positive take on it)

I teach with that goal in mind. Empowerment through education. What it means is that the student takes some responsibility for her or his education; my main job is to facilitate, to share and provide resources, as well as to encourage communication and provide a safe space for a meaningful exchange to enhance learning for everybody.

This is a relatively new concept here in Indonesia, I think. I remember when I was younger, often we learned passively; the teacher lectured and we took notes. It's easy that way. All one has to do is listen and pay attention. This is great for tired students, but maybe not the most effective way to learn. I took a 4 year "sabbatical" from university and my! How things had changed when I returned! The teaching methods had evolved into "active participation models" including group work, pair work, moving tables and desks around the room to facilitate such and I did. not. like. it.

However, I'd be wrong if I told you that I didn't learn during that process and I have to say that it enhanced my experience.

People in Indonesia have mostly been studying English since junior high. The people I've taught here fall into roughly the same age category that I mentioned earlier and are already in the university system, so I believe it's rather safe to assume that they've already been exposed to English grammar rules and the foundation for learning to use English.

I'm not a grammar teacher, but I know how to speak and write correctly. My goal in teaching here is not a return to the basics (because I'm sure that's been more than adequately covered), but to empower students with skills for mastery.

There are some pretty important things about using English that make it easier to master. Firstly, we read. We begin reading when we're children  and it never ends. Memorizing all of our wild and woolly grammar rules becomes unnecessary because through reading, we learn to use the language correctly rather than maintain a mental reference of each applicable grammar rule. Authentic materials are best (things written for and by native speakers with that audience in mind) So, rule number 1 for enhancing your English? Read. And read a lot. (If you'd like recommendations specific to your interests, please ask in the comment section)

1. Read

Secondly, English is a very expressive language with MANY words. It's nice to have an expansive vocabulary, but more important is to know how words are used and what the implied meaning is for each word. "Vow", "oath" and "pledge" mean roughly the same thing, but are used very differently. Reading will help to master than kind of usage, but understanding how the language works is also very important. Critical thinking skills that include a desire to not only "know" something, but to understand it fully, are woven into the ways we use the language...who? What? Why? When? Where? How? When reading authentic English materials, it's good to "create a dialogue" (thanks to a former student for that awesome imagery) with the writing asking "Why is the author sharing this? What is the purpose of this sentence? Who does he/she expect will read this piece? Is it written to influence or inform? So, critical thinking skills are mandatory for mastering English with the power of an educated native speaker.

2. Understand the concept of Critical Thinking

Lastly now, but only because I can't think of anything more important at the moment and these 3 are, by far, the most important tips to me, HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF. Be confident, not arrogant. Use the language. Practice as much as you can. Realize that English is a global language - there are different ways to pronounce words, even within the native speaking population. Don't be hard on yourself, just keep trying. Listen to music in English, watch movies, expose yourself. Be willing to grow.

Many people are focused on taking some version of English aptitude test, whether it's the IELTS or TOEFL (especially the iBT TOEFL), the main thing tested is HOW WELL YOU COMMUNICATE YOUR IDEAS. Of course good grammar facilitates that, but those tests are NOT testing how perfect your English is, but how well you can use English to communicate your own ideas and to understand the ideas of others. Therefore, give yourself a break. Don't be so hard on yourself. Many native speakers make grammatical errors! So, number three is to love yourself.

3. Have confidence, don't be too hard on yourself and don't give up!

There are so many good resources available on the web that I can't even begin to list them here. If you'd like specific references, please post in the comment section and I'll do the best I can.

Best wishes and remember, English is for everybody!