I always considered myself to be a feminist, even if I hate labels, just because I believe we are strong, we are legitimate, we have multifaceted characters, and we have the right to equal pay for equal work. And I don't need anybody to do anything for me that I can't do myself. More pointedly, I guess if I follow the sentiments of Rebecca West , I am most definitely a feminist:
"I myself have never been able to find out what feminism is; I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute."
Perhaps I am a bit of a traditionalist, though, too. I believe that a mother should love and nurture her child or children, I believe that a wife should honor her husband, and I believe that when we choose to have a family, or a career, or both, we should do our very best. All the time.
I do not believe, under any circumstance, that it is ok for a mother to hit her offspring.
I do not believe that a woman should pretend to be weak to get sympathy, assistance, or anything.
I do not believe that a woman should intentionally harm another human being; male, female, child, friend - anybody.
I believe in love.
I believe in faith.
I believe in confidence.
I believe in treating each person as an individual; with gifts, characteristics and beliefs specific to who he or she is as a human being, regardless of "group" membership or labels.
I believe that we have a responsibility to "take the high road", to think beyond our own limited experiences and to share kindness randomly, freely and with no expectation of anything in return.
When I was younger, I used to think that women were inherently better than men; more thoughtful, more capable, having a greater capacity for good.
I was wrong. Just like men, women are human beings. None of us - of any group, gender or identification - is inherently better than anybody else.
Women can be evil. Men can be compassionate. Truly. We can all feel pain and we can all inflict it, albeit the manners of such can be different.
Domestic abuse has always been a big issue for me. Like many other people, the pictures of battered faces and bodies of female victims have sickened and angered me at the same time.
Physical abuse is the more obvious kind of domestic violence and it is horrific, tragic and evil.
Emotional abuse is less obvious because the battered body parts are on the inside rather than out. But believe me, the damage is no less severe.
Emotional abuse is no less painful. No less harmful. And the kicker is that anybody can master it. Small people, big people, women, men. Anybody.
We can all get sidetracked into believing that the only "real" abuse is physical violence against women.
We need to develop an awareness that abuse can take many forms and have many lingering effects.
Men and children can be the victims of an emotionally abusive woman just as quickly as a woman can be the victim of an abusive man.
It's just harder to see. Harder to catch.
And often harder to understand, especially when we tacitly believe that women are kinder, gentler people.
Because it's taken me a while to put the pieces together and develop an awareness, it seems to be that I'm not a feminist at all, nor am I a traditionalist.
I believe in basic human rights for all people. Adults and children. Everywhere. Does that mean I'm a humanist?
I'm glad I don't like labels because I don't want to figure that one out!
I believe that every human being has the right to be loved, to be treated with respect and kindness.
I believe that it is never right to raise a hand against another person. (I'm still struggling with that if someone hits me first...I'm not too sure I'd be able to turn the other cheek...)
I believe that no one is inherently better than another person, especially for attributes outside of one's control such as gender, race, ethnicity, age, nationality.
The downside of all this is that I have to admit that women can be as cruel as men were thought to be.
And so does everybody else.
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