The Culture Vulture

“Lions, wolves, and vultures don't live together in herds, droves or flocks. Of all animals of prey, man is the only sociable one. Every one of us preys upon his neighbor, and yet we herd together.” 

John Gay

When I wrote the title to this blog, I only sought to rhyme something with culture. After choosing "vulture" and then finding the quote from the British poet and dramatist, John Gay, it sadly seemed to fit perfectly for what I wanted to say.

I've been reading a lot about culture. As I've said repeatedly, I spend more of my time being confused than anything else. Part of the reason, I've discovered, is the difference between high-context and low-context cultures as first presented by anthropologist Edward T. Hall in his book Beyond Culture (1976) (thanks, Wikipedia)

The United States is, for the most part (except the South, my region*), a low-context culture. That means that we spell everything out. We leave little to the imagination and shun assumptions. We speak directly with lots of words. We don't expect others to know the context from which we're speaking in order to understand what we need to say. We spell it out. Teaching English and helping people with English has made me very aware of this. We have so many words; each with different, subtle meanings. For example, some form of praise, accolades, appreciation, honor, admiration could all be used in this sentence: 

Her singing was met with highest _________. 

Each word is a bit different, but really all the same. We have lots of ways of saying the same thing. We might use praise in a joyful religious or ceremonial occasion, accolades in a government or military event, appreciation if the singer is respected for one reason or another, honor if the singer is an admirable person, admiration if the singer has overcome some obstacle. Of course, it's not necessary to think of those words in that way, but it's possible. It adds context to the meaning we're trying to convey.

Indonesia is a high context culture. Things only make sense if you are acutely aware of the context from which they come. Unfortunately for me, this often means a requirement to make assumptions, judgements and guesses. (It is not a good thing for me to make assumptions. I can guarantee that they won't be nice.) Therefore, I'm confused most of the time. The word I use most often to describe this phenomenon is "indah". That word can mean majestic, wonderful, beautiful, intriguing, lovely, spectacular, etc. I'm sure it can mean many other things, but what I have to realize is that I have to know what the common belief is about whatever is "indah" and apply that particular meaning to the situation being described. That's what makes it difficult. The context is determined by popular belief or common assumptions with which an individual may or may not agree. You see, what an individual experiences or believes is always "at the mercy", if I may, of what the group has determined is appropriate or legitimate. Using expressive speech is not common. English was created and has evolved to promote expression. I may think that someone is wearing a lovely blouse, so I think to use "indah". I've been told, on many occasions when I think I should use "indah" I should use "bagus" (good) or some other word.  So, friends, I am frequently confused. 

The point here is that there are commonly accepted beliefs that effect everything. From the way words are used, or not used, to the way people are treated. Everything is based on what has been socially determined as the benchmark.

Growing up in a culture that absolutely abhors "following the crowd", "keeping up with the Joneses", and "buckling to peer pressure", not to mention being a bit different anyway, and then living in a place where we have to do all those things to get along is VERY difficult. I still wonder how after the 3 psychological assessments I had to take as part of my mission co-worker vetting I was still chosen to come here. (That's where the call part comes in and I still believe that, by the way. Obviously, I'm still here.)

In spite of all this confusion, I've met many Indonesian people with the same concerns. They're not confused, of course, because they understand the context. 

But they're hurting.

“To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.”

ee cummings

It's not OK to be different. It's not OK to think differently than other people. It's not OK to go against commonly held beliefs and traditions. It's not OK to "be yourself". It's not OK to be smarter (unless you're smarter in the way that it's ok to be smarter in, whatever that happens to be). It's not OK to stand out. (innovate, experiment, create)

Maybe this sounds like whining, but it's hard for someone who's not Indonesian to comprehend. In reality, every single entity serves to reinforce the culturally accepted norms and there's nowhere to go. Family and marriage (Do what we want you to do. You owe me/us. Men are "just men". Women are like that. Children need to listen. Deal with it. Hitting? Abusing? It's OK - just don't get divorced!) University (Critical thinking skills? No value. Memorize. You'll study in the area of your presumed aptitude. Teachers know EVERYTHING. No questions.) The Church (We must sacrifice just as Jesus did. We practice "pure religion". We must act and look a certain way so that people will know who we are - an aside - I always believed "They'll know we are Christians by Our Love" ...

See what happens when I make assumptions??? Whoops. Sorry. Must practice cultural sensitivity....

I always struggle with culture. As I've said many times, I come from the South. My region is the poster child for many things that are, or were, wrong with America. Slavery. De Jure racism. Violence. Fundamentalism. Guns. (Just to name a few.)

But it is never OK to blame our actions that inflict pain on others as our culture, our traditions or "our way". If a cultural tradition hurts someone, it is not just a tradition, it is wrong. Just like buying and selling another human being. Just like separate but equal. Just like telling women to return to their angry, battering husbands. Just like anybody who says that "women are just that way" in response to abusive women. Just like shooting somebody because they made us mad. 

I believe that we can pick and choose from our cultures and traditions; what is uplifting, what inspires, what is kind. 

As I said, The South is a hot bed of wildness, but you know what else? It is one of the most diverse regions in the country. People whose ancestors once fled are coming back. We've dropped the evil legacies of the past and are promoting what is good. Love one another. Hospitality. Kindness. Hard work. The best food in the country!  

Cultures and traditions don't have to be lost. 

But hurting people in the name of your culture or traditions? Well, that's got to go.

* Wikipedia notes that The South is an anomaly; that even though it's in the US, we're a high context culture. I had to think about that a bit and yes, I guess so, but we still operate within the dominant culture of low context...and we only speak "our" way with "our" people; we know "outsiders" won't know what we mean when we say somebody's "acting like trash", for example. One thing for sure, the context with which I'm familiar and unspoken is, like every culture, unique to itself. That being said, the fact that I also come from a high context culture does little good in this high context culture.