Definition of COMMITMENT
1
a : an act of committing to a charge or trust: as (1) : a consignment to a penal or mental institution (2) : an act of referring a matter to a legislative committee
b : mittimus
2
a : an agreement or pledge to do something in the future; especially : an engagement to assume a financial obligation at a future date
b : something pledged
c : the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled <a commitment to a cause>
I love using a dictionary. Very often my students are surprised that I readily refer to one, but one of the beauties of English is that our words are very expressive and have VERY specific meanings. I have to say that I was a bit surprised when I read this definition for "commitment". It's not quite what I thought, but certainly what I felt.
Commitment for me is a word I would use in the context of relationship. In fact, I seem to think of it mostly in terms of a work relationship or a marriage. "I am committed to you." "I am committed to being the best that I can be for you" "I committed to "sticking it out". It seems that my primary definition for this word is actually 2.C!
That being said, when we've committed to something, how do we know how long we have to be committed? In marriage of course, we know that we are to be committed forever...but what if we're the only one with a sense of commitment? What then? A marriage is a relationship based on reciprocity and the commitment of two people; one person cannot make a marriage, but my focus here is not on that kind of commitment, but on a professional commitment.
Once we have chosen a profession, or a career if you will, the next step is a job; an opportunity to put that choice into action. A work related commitment may be easier to negotiate, but it's still based on an idea of reciprocity and mutuality.
It seems to me that a commitment is only valid if, indeed, it's mutually agreed upon and respected. Just as one person cannot make a marriage, a one-way work relationship is equally deficient. An employer cannot continue to pour resources into an unproductive employee, and an employee with a sense of duty can't continually seek permission to do what they expected to do when they were hired.
In any relationship, honest communication is key. We can try our best to meet the needs and expectations of the other, but it is also necessary for them to try their best to meet our needs and expectations, as well. It's not a one-way street, but a boulevard of cooperation, compromise and communication. Anything less is not truly a relationship, but a prescription (Merriam Webster - #3) .
When we feel as if we've tried to cooperate, compromise and communicate to no avail, it may be necessary to reconsider that commitment.
We are not promised a tomorrow. Each day is a blessing and a gift. If we waste our days on unfulfilling commitments that do not allow us to use our gifts, talents and abilities to the benefit of ourselves and others, then we may be taking that gift for granted. I don't think that's s good thing.
Maybe that's why this old Kenny Rogers (The Gambler) song keeps popping into my head...
You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run
Hopefully, I will always use creativity, intelligence, imagination and love to play the cards in my hand.
