On Motherhood.

Crying. It's one of the things that a mother can understand better than anyone else.  The pain of childbirth is but mere preparation for the trials that lie ahead.  When your child becomes an adult and begins to forge her own path, the question of whether we succeeded or failed in our role as primary nurturer can bear down and reduce the strongest woman into a pool of liquid salt.

By far, my most important accomplishment to date has been giving birth to my daughter. She came along at a time in which I had lost hope, I was lost and and my family was, for all intents and purposes, lost as well.  When I learned in April of 1988 that I was carrying a gift from God, I had a reason to learn to love myself and to take care of myself to nurture the gift within me.  

When I started writing this blog many weeks ago, I was about into that pool of salt referenced above.  Someone had written me a really long email about how I had abandoned my child and left her struggling and how I am not a compassionate person. Why was I still communicating with that person? Because I was trying to be nice (look where it got me - that’s how it goes, right?)  

Motherhood is not for the weak - either spiritually or physically. Being here, halfway around the world I know that sometimes being a Mother means doing the right thing, even when it rips your heart out.

I have spent more than half of my life devoting every single waking second to being a good Mom and raising a strong daughter with self-confidence, poise and grace.  How will she ever know how awesome she is if I continue to hover over her and direct her every move?

I have faith...in myself, in my daughter, and most of all to God who takes care of us and always has.