When You're Lost is Often How to Find the Way

Finding out what you're really made of seems to be much easier when you're completely out of your comfort zone.

A dear, sweet, marvelous, smart, awesome and inspirational friend made a joke on my Facebook page that I always look like I'm on vacation, so, "what kind of job do you have and are there anymore?" Ha ha.

Since I've arrived in Indonesia, my accent has gotten a little thicker (molasses, any one?), my penchant for hot sauce and rice a little stronger (slap some greens on that pile and call it a meal) and my homage to the heat ("oh - hot? no - I don't need the AC, thanks") is a little more Darwin-istic, shall we say.

Sometimes, too, when the rug is pulled out from under you (or maybe you choose to leap off it, as did I) you must learn that what you know is but a facet of the ways things play out in real life.

Before I arrived in Indonesia, I knew that I came from a culture that prioritizes the individual and that I was going to a culture in which the group (or "society") takes priority.  It sounds simple and is easy to understand, so I was prepared. (I'm being facetious) The gaping chasm between "knowing" and "understanding" becomes incredibly evident when the following things happen to you:

1) You excitedly share with a friend that you'll soon be moving into "your own house" (YAY American style!!!) She looks at you with an expression of sheer terror and asks "Alone?!?!" Being alone here seems to be one of the absolute worst things that could ever happen to a person, much less to consider than a person would willingly bring it onto her or himself! (I won't even go into how many people, taxi drivers mostly, are completely befuddled that I came here ALONE!!! Wow!)

2) One of the coolest things that I've learned is that words for "colleague", "classmate" and "co-worker" aren't really used here.  In each instance in which any of those words would apply, the kind word "friend" is used.  One example of how this works is from my yoga classes where we regularly "partner up" for assists ("partner with a friend").  I've yet to be injured and I don't think I've injured anybody.  It's kind of a refreshing change to get out of your head and into a world of social cooperation. 

3) A simple exercise in language learning class on giving advice exposed the very heart of the differences between individualist and social cultures. It would be nearly impossible for a person from an individualist culture to give advice without first knowing a great deal about the recipient...we would custom-create advice specific to that person.  In a culture that prioritizes the group, one answer should suffice for any member and be equally applicable, possibly even assuming that there is such a thing as an answer that is always right...

4) I don't really know how much this plays into the individualistic/social dynamic or not, but I think that I will say it does for these purposes. The state of marriage in my country is abysmal. And I'm not even talking about gay marriage, I'm talking about the fact that at least 50% of American marriages end in divorce.  The upshot of that is, though, that in the US there are plenty of single people my age.  I see them in the park, maybe interact with them in a social setting, maybe even work with them.  I don't feel very alone there - there are plenty of people my age and of similar social standing.  Here marriages rarely end in divorce.  And people marry when they are in their late 20's.  When people marry, it is often said that they marry a family - how that plays out is that women are never stranded at home to raise babies alone, when conflict arises some older family member steps in to mediate, and both members of the marriage have a seemingly endless support network who have a vested interest in maintaining the marriage.  So, sometimes I feel as if I never see anybody my age (in a country in which age is paramount) and it can feel weird.  I didn't realize it until I watched this video the other day

and I found myself lovingly gazing into the lines of his face because I haven't seen any except mine for so long......

I've often written about how grateful I am to be here and that is the truth.  I am excited to learn and to be challenged by these "understandings".

The title of this post is "When You're Lost is Often How to Find the Way" but I must confess.  I've yet to be "lost"....I've "known" everything....except sometimes that I was lost...and now I know, for real, that through the grace of God I am finding my way....and it's a glorious adventure.

Father's Day Reflection

My father passed away a little over 2 years ago.  On Easter. I was the first to know.  

Since that time, I think of him often.  I think of how hard he and I worked together to build a relationship, especially once I became a mother.  I think of how much he loved my daughter and how he tried (and succeeded) to love her and to be there for her in ways that he was not able to be for me when I was younger - 

We had a tumultuous relationship - maybe because we were very similar in hard-headed, creative ways, but also because we really did love each other and wanted for the other the kinds of things we weren't quite able to make happen for ourselves (or at least thought so at the time)

After my father died, I broke down and started practicing yoga (I had previously resisted due to its popularity) those first practices were always dedicated to him...I would be close to tears, breathing and praying....and trying to understand why he had to leave this world.  Whenever I love myself enough to take care of myself, I think of him.  My work schedule got in the way a few months later and I was on yoga-hiatus until February of this year.  When I started practicing again,  I began a prayerful reflection on the importance of loving ourselves enough to take care of ourselves. That's what it's about, after all.

Today I went swimming at a beautiful pool.  I not only swam, but I pushed myself through the water and allowed it to encircle me, embrace me and lift me into an almost trance-like state.  As I floated on my back looking into the sky, I remembered who taught me that trick and I lay in prayerful repose thinking of my father, the man who taught me how to really enjoy a good pool swim.  My swim today was dedicated to his memory, his life and his energy.  There are so many things I wish I could share with him - so many adventures, revelations and experiences!  

It is still hard to live without him, because when he was good, he was awesome.

Happy Father's Day, Daddy.

A dedication - the only song he ever told me was his favorite :-)

Scotch and Soda by the Kingston Trio

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Nc2GWytR0E

It Wasn't the End of the World as We Knew It - Or Was It?

I grew up playing sports.  Full disclosure:  Maybe the concept of true teamwork was a foreign idea to me at times, especially because I was, for all intents and purposes, more of a loner the rest of the time - but still.  I learned the concept of sportsmanship and realize that its purpose goes beyond the field or court, but should direct us on how to successfully interact with others, even when they play for a different team..  That concept is sorely missing from some Facebook postings on what transpired, or didn't transpire as it were, related to the "End of The World/May 21" prediction set in motion by a fringe Christian association in the US.

Do I believe that we will know when the end of the world will arrive? I do not. HOWEVER. I do not find myself to be in a position of superiority to those who do, either.  Most of what I know of this situation, honestly, is from Facebook posts (as that's the closest I get to the "pulse" of what's happening in the US, aside from the online news I read)

I am disappointed with some pages that attempt to represent the "Christian Left" in an attempt to counterbalance those who often dominate the popular idea of what it means to be an American Christian, the "Christian Right".

There's a lot of "nanny-nanny boo-boo-ism" permeating the pages of the those who strive to represent the Christian Left.  I'm completely down with Freedom of Speech.  As a matter of fact, I keep a portable soapbox in my pocketbook for any occasion that avails itself for me to jump on it and ramble on BUT.  I also agree with Spiderman's Uncle in his apt description of what to do with great power (in this case, I mean the power of Freedom of Speech)

With great power lies great responsibility 

Additionally, If you're not adding anything thoughtful, personal or well-intentioned into the marketplace of ideas, maybe you should just be quiet and get on with living your own life. That's my take on the cultural adage known to many of us "If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut".  Sometimes un-nice things MUST be said, but they'll drop dead on the floor if not done in a thoughtful, well-intentioned way.

And now I'll put my soapbox back into my purse for the time being.

Anybody can throw rocks - anyone can create meaningless "soundbites" and anyone can jump on the reactionary bandwagon wagon and draw knee-jerk conclusions or even revel in the misguidance of others....but is that who "we" want to be?

I will quickly tell you that I don't want any part of that "we" - none.  Don't we have enough reactionary freakazoids??? And what makes us different if we do the same things?

So, I think it's best to be a good sport - not to revel when a game is won; not to taunt the other team with jeering chants afterwards...it's not about being right or wrong, winning or losing, but focusing on the kind of "we" we want to be and then actually trying to do it.

Channeling Love

Religion is what you do when the sermon is over.

H. Jackson Browne, "Life's Little Instruction Book"

I believe that.  Many of us try to carry our good hearts and desire into the world after being inspired in church.  We all know how long this likely lasts - until something happens that destroys that inspiration or until it just wears off (usually around Sunday evening :-)  


Just kidding, but just as a Sunday morning church service inspires us for an undetermined amount of time, the time spent between Sunday and Sunday has an impact on one's concept of religion, as well...very often affecting the way we hear the message on Sunday mornings and for sure, in the ways we practice what it is we think we hear. In my case, the way that I've spent the time between Sunday and Sunday for most of my life (no joke) was listening to music.  Rock and Roll music. From the very beginning. 


This morning during devotionals (I mean actively listening to my iPod while getting ready for work) I realized that there are quite a few songs of various genres that I have always associated with my faith.  Later on I would realize that some really cool things happen to me as a result of that.  For your consideration (and perhaps listening enjoyment) I will share them with you (and hopefully the links will stay active!


First on the list is, hands down, Love Reign O'er Me (the Who, Quadrophenia) It's the first go-to song when I need to remember that love comes from above...just like rain.  

Only love

Can bring the rain

That makes you yearn to the sky

Only love

Can bring the rain

That falls like tears from on high

I guess Pete Townshend speaks to me or something - because Let My Love Open the Door (Empty Glass) is a constant reminder that Jesus has...

....the only key to your heart
I can stop you falling apart
Try today, you'll find this way
Come on and give me a chance to say
Let my love open the door
It's all I'm living for
Release yourself from misery
Only one thing's gonna set you free
That's my love 

Speaking of Jesus, what an awesome reminder of His love and sacrifice! Yes it's Prince and no I'm not kidding.  I Would Die 4 U

You're just a sinner I am told
Be your fire when you're cold
Make u happy when you're sad
Make u good when u are bad

I'm not a human
I am a dove
I'm your conscious
I am love
All I really need is 2 know that
U believe 
(sorry - you know Prince is on top of his music business and there are no original videos with him singing this song anymore :-( this one is fun, anyway)

In the early '90's I was pretty busy.  I was raising my awesome daughter as a single mother and I was working...hard. In a restaurant.  One day in the bar, a customer and I were discussing the video on the TV.  He was a Catholic and he made the point that this song by Sting isn't about a human love affair, but the most important love in our lives.  If Ever I Lose My Faith in You   It's always been a blessing to me how some things happen right when you need for them to happen.

You could say I lost my sense of direction
You could say all of this and worse but

If I ever lose my faith in you
There'd be nothing left for me to do

This list is hardly complete, in fact it merely scratches the surface of the way that I experience my faith through music, but when this happened today, I knew I needed to share.

Today after a briefly irritating chat with a friend from home who tends towards negativity but is trying (I hope) to cultivate some love in his heart - this song popped into my head...weird because I would have changed the station had it come on the radio, but into my head? Carly Simon was on frequent rotation in the Blackburn household of my childhood.  I think we had all her 8-tracks (yep).  I thought I was tired TO DEATH of her music, but I had to Google the lyrics. Ah. I see. Thank you. 

'you showed me how, how to fill my heart with love 
How to open up and drink in all that white light 
Pouring down from the heaven 
I haven't got time for the pain 
I haven't got room for the pain 
I haven't the need for the pain 
Not since I've known you

A gentle reminder...much appreciated. Maybe you think I take things out of context, or maybe I selectively hear the lyrics that match my beliefs...but that's my point.  I'd rather take a song out of context than....something more significant.  And it seems to work for me...why?  Because in addition to all that love I try to nurture in my heart, something else is already in there...and I believe it acts as a receiver :-) Eric Clapton sang about it in (of course) I've Got a Rock and Roll Heart

I guess there's nothing left for me to explain 
Here's what you're getting and I don't want to change ...I don't want to change!
I get off on '57 Chevys 
I get off on screaming guitar 

Like the way it gets me every time it hits me 
I've got a rock and roll - I've got a rock and roll heart 

What does all this mean? 
 I believe that when God is in your heart, you'll experience Him where you are.

  He is always with me. 

 And He speaks to me through something that is also in my heart. 

 His message is Love.  And I hear Him.

First Newsletter

Hi everybody! :-) I am posting the link for my first "real" newsletter that is published on the Presbyterian Church (USA) website.  Please read if you'd like!

http://gamc.pcusa.org/ministries/missionconnections/blackburn-charlotte-201104/

Birthday "Presence"

Being selected by the Presbyterian Church (USA) to serve as an Mission Co-Worker to Indonesia was quite a blessing.  It was a long process with many procedures, interviews and forms!  As the musician Tom Petty sings, but in a completely different context, the waiting (was) the hardest part.  I found out in April of 2010 that I would live in Indonesia and yet I didn't arrive until late January of 2011.  

Perhaps I've mentioned this before, but I am not a professional theologian. I've hardly even taught Sunday School - I'm an Elder who sang in the choir. I can't "minister" to people.  I most recently became a certified teacher of English to speakers of other languages, but I am well aware that there are others who are more experienced, talented and knowledgeable than I.  On a bad day, I question my presence here - am I effective?  Am I serving these amazing people who are teaching me more than I them?  What was I thinking accepting this position? It's over my head - I'm a planner, for Pete's sakes!  Luckily bad days aren't common to me, but when they strike, the "badness" can be unrelenting.   

And then it happened.  A bad day almost happened.  I received an email from a Global Missions Fellow who is a newly ordained Presbyterian minister currently working in Zambia with her husband, also a newly ordained Presbyterian Minister.  They would like to come here in a few months - they would like to understand my ministry and what I'm doing relative to Interfaith and Education initiatives...YIKES! Of course I would love to see them - I would love to show them the cool things I've seen and experienced here, but ministry? Interfaith and Education what?!? Oh gosh - here it comes - bad day, bad day, bad day.....

BUT.  Not going to think about that now, I thought. Tonight is my birthday party and tomorrow is my birthday.  I'll think about what my ministry is later.

I chose to celebrate my birthday the night before my birthday because my birthday was on a Tuesday this year.  Tuesdays are good days - work, language learning and yoga.  I really wanted to maintain my schedule because I love it.  I finish yoga and get home at almost 9 p.m. and that would be too late for dinner out, so Monday it was.  

For once in my life, I make an effort to respect and maintain my schedule.  The time that I spend in language learning helps me communicate and build relationships with people in my community. The mental and physical aspects of yoga nourish my body and mind.  Additionally, I've been known to have pretty awesome epiphanies during the "savasana" pose at the end of a practice.  Allowing complete rest for the body, it somehow allows for a freeing of mind, as well.  One of the things that's drawn me to the practice of yoga is the philosophy of "being present": be here, be on the mat, get out of your head and into the practice.  I need that - I live in my head a lot.  A friend once told me that I analyze everything.  Yes I do. (and that's why I need yoga; that's why I love it)

So Monday I had yoga and then I enjoyed a delightful evening...with my friends.  And I mean my friends.  And I really mean, my friends (because I didn't expect many people to come).  Maybe 5 if I were lucky.  People are busy - it's hard to get out on a week night. I was concerned that the ones who might come would get bored because nobody else came.  I was worried.  I was in my head...and a bad day was potentially on the horizon.  And then - I had a delightful evening with my friends.

And there were a lot of us...way many more than I expected....

I'm not bragging and maybe this isn't many to you, but we had 15 people.  That is a lot in my book - more over, it was 15 people who I really care about - 15 people who I love and am grateful to have in my life.

Gushing is my forte.  When I am overcome with emotion, I have to tell it. I tell people how wonderful they are  or what a inspiration they are. I can't help it. I'll tell the stranger on the bus how beautiful her bag is, I'll tell the man on the street how cool his bicycle is, I will tell the young mom what a good mom she seems to be.  If it's good, why not say it?  Sharing goodness = gushing.  That's what I do. Sitting at this table surrounded by all these awesome people, my heart gushed.  For love, appreciation, friendship, laughter, learning and growing.  My soul continues to be warm from that incredible experience.

And then then next day - on my birthday - in the pose of "savasana" at the end of a particularly challenging practice, it came to me.  I know my ministry.  

"...to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with |my| God" (Micah 8). 

Christians are supposed to be known for many things, but to me, the most significant is for our love.  Love is one thing I have no problem showing, expressing, sharing and receiving.  My ministry is to reflect love.  And I know I'm the right person for the job. Bad day?  Not today.

   

Seven Mosques, Many Experiences

Saturday, 4 people and I went on a social/cultural outing that involved visiting 7 famous mosques, as well as an enjoyable lunch at a really awesome restaurant!

In some ways, Yogyakarta reminds me a lot of Charlotte, NC.  This isn't really a concerted attempt to make that connection in an academic or truly measurable way, but I'd like to share one of the most significant similarities.  Legend has is that at one time, Charlotte had more churches per square mile than any city in America.  Yogyakarta seemingly has just as many mosques - and Saturday we visited seven of them.

In Indonesia, the first of the Five Principles of the State (the Pancasila) is "Belief in the one True God".  Indonesia has 6 governmentally "approved" religions, and as long as you believe in God through one of the "approved" religions, you're good to go.  Kind of reminds me of what could happen in Charlotte, NC.  We're cool with other religions, but if you don't believe in God, in general, we're not real sure what to do with you! I don't mean to make blanket statement generalizations (really),  but that's my experience (it doesn't hurt that right before I left, the debacle about the billboard sponsored by the NC Association of Atheists, or similar, was going on - remember that?)  I just know that more often than not, it is my faith that has carried me through rough times and I have no idea what a person with no faith would do when things get tough (I don't think I'll read Christopher Hitchens book to find out, but I trust that he believes what he says and I'm cool with that)

In Charlotte, NC, we have hundreds of churches - we have other places of worship, but churches predominate. Here in Yogyakarta it's the reverse - there are hundreds of mosques, but less churches and other houses of worship.

Saturday we went out to visit 7 mosques of historical or architectural significance.  I respectfully wore long sleeves, long pants and brought along a scarf to cover my head, as did our Indonesian director of activities, Ingrid. She and I don't wear typically wear pants or long sleeves - and we don't cover our heads regularly, so I wasn't sure how we'd fare.  I didn't get as hot or feel as bothered as I thought I would.  The weather was with us and a pleasant breeze accompanied us on our way. A particularly wonderful thing I noticed is the place in the community each mosque held, the part of the social fabric that was created by the presence.  There were schools, men, women, families, children, professionals and laborers - they were gracious to us at each place.  We were allowed to enter, to experience and to see.  For that I'm grateful.

The first mosque we visited is associated with the Sultan's realm.  Yogyakarta (Jogja) is one of three special districts in Indonesia. I think there are only 3; Jakarta and Nanggroe Aceh Darussalam in northern Sumatra are the other two. The governor of Jogja is the Sultan and while Indonesia is a democracy, traditionally the Sultan holds power in Jogja.  This is yet another way that Jogja, a city of art, culture and education, is indeed special.  

There are four mosques at the "corners" of the boundaries of the Sultan's kingdom (Sultanate)  that were built in the 1700's (I think).

Within the walls of the complex, children from the school were playing...they lost their ball into the water, a teacher retrieved it and all was well.

Of course I had to go adventure into the surrounding neighborhood.  Luckily for me I got to enter through another original gate (I had forgotten to take a picture of the first one)

The next mosque we visited was by far the most colorful of any we'd see today - it was very sweet, very pretty and very unique.

I could've cropped this picture, but I really wanted to show the relationship to the road.  It isn't set apart as a "site to see" - it is a place of worship with unique characteristics...and completely accessible.

One thing that I noticed at each place is the place one goes to prepare to pray.  You have to rinse your face, ears, hands and arms up to elbows, and feet prior to praying.  Some people pray at each of the established times, too - that's 5 times a day (and a lot of dedication).   

I wasn't sure why we were going to the 3rd mosque on the agenda - it is big and beautiful - architecturally significant, but still - it kind of reminded me of the big church across from the government center in Charlotte...sterile and imposing rather than sweet and warm.  Needless to say, my initial impression was wrong...it's probably wrong about the church in Charlotte, too, but that's another story.

This mosque was beautiful and felt so peaceful - Ingrid and I very much enjoyed  our repose inside

The visit to this mosque provided the introduction into what would be the overwhelming understanding I'd have of the day:  I was not only visiting historical and architectural sites, but I was entering into places of worship.  The opportunity to reflect, to pray and to commune with the God I know through Jesus Christ did not escape me.  For that, I am grateful.

From the new and architecturally significant to the oldest and favorite mosque of the day, we traveled to Kote Gede - the former capital of the region now known for this beautiful place, as well as handcrafted silver.  Notice the Hindu influence of the entrance into the complex...

There was something special about this place - we all loved it and enjoyed being there...

The mosque here was pleasant and beautiful, but the grounds and the overall sense of the area held the intrigue, I think...maybe it was the avatar tree with the cat who conversed with me...

...or the sweet street just beyond....

...but I know that I need to go back.

We iced the cake of our morning with a delicious lunch at Milas, a restaurant that serves organic and vegetarian food AND does non-profit charitable work in the community.  Talk about feeling good after you eat! :-) 

After our delicious lunch we went to the mosque at the Kraton, the Sultan's Palace.  You'll notice decorative similarities between it and the palace. 

 It was really neat to see so many taking an afternoon repose here.

From there we went to The Green Mosque (please forgive that I wasn't much for recording the proper names for these beautiful places - I was more concerned with being present and seizing the moment of experiencing them)

This is a beautiful mosque that was teeming with people  (even though I didn't capture many)  who had come to pray...and children who had come to play :-)

This woman is heading to the place to prepare herself for prayer

These kids were playing  :-)

We ended our day at the mosque on the campus of Universitas Gadjah Mada (UGM).  The oldest University in  Indonesia.  I had been told previously that directly following Indonesia's independence from Dutch rule, the Sultan decided that Indonesians needed access to a quality education.  He donated the land upon which UGM is built.  It is a huge campus, to say the least. The mosque is beautiful and there were many people visiting. (You're probably wondering how I was able to capture so many people-less pictures if there were so many people, but I guess you've just discovered one of my many talents :-)

I guess you can tell that mosques play an important role in the community - similar to that of churches in Charlotte, NC, as I've said.   What may not be as obvious is how kindly we were received at each place and how each place provided a peace that promoted prayer.

There are more pictures on Facebook - please check them out if you'd like.  I'm thankful to be here - to learn, to grow, to experience new things and of course, to share.  If you have any questions or comments, please leave them below or send me an email.  For many of us, these photos are the first intimate glimpses of a mosque that we've had - I hope that I have successfully shared their significance and shown how special, warm and reverent they are.  

Since I have been in Indonesia (almost a month and a half), I have been treated with kindness, warmth, good humor and compassion.  I have an even more diverse body of friends who care about me and about whom I care.  For that I'm thankful - thank you for sharing this experience with me.