Where to Begin?

It's been 6 years since I have been on this journey; it's been 5 since it took a drastic change in direction.  The saying "no matter where you go, there you are" is true, but true in a way that seems to defy its snarky tone. I am the same me, in my head, but to think that I am free from the labels, assumptions, and the context of my surroundings, well that's just folly. Our context determines our identity. Chimamande Ngozi Adichie precisely describes that shocking reality in the novel Americanah.

It is etched into both my brain and being that if I don't have anything nice to say, I need to keep my mouth shut. I wish that I had more nice things to say, I do, but honestly, these years have been the hardest of my life.

The inauguration of the new American president prompted my reflection on the meaning of a "post-truth" world.

You see, I've been learning about post-truth for the past 6 years. Indonesia continues to reel from a 32-year long authoritarian regime that impacted almost every aspect of daily life. Through laws, policy, dictates, and propaganda, the mindset of the greater society was altered. Once propaganda gets in the water and once people can be fooled or forced to believe it, it doesn't just "go away". William Faulker said the past is never dead, it's not even past.  William Faulkner was right.

I've  read on Facebook the ugly name-calling from all sides and, while I've never been one to shy away from a good argument in person, the depths to which my society and culture have plunged shock me.

We, just as much as anywhere else in the world, "developed" or "developing", are swimming in hate, judgment, and "othering" with dreams of salvation by a boss-man/authoritarian.

It's understandable; I mean, really. Wouldn't we all like to shut those damn idiots up? (whoever they are) Why don't they get the hell on out of here and back where they belong? (whoever and wherever they may be) And they sure are stupid! Idiots! (no matter how much education they have or how respected they are in their respective professions) And if they look like "us", but don't think like "us", the "They're not real Christians/Muslims/Patriots/Nationalists!" admonishment is hurled at the newly minted "other".

We've descended into a stinking bog of identity politics and for my part, I always thought that kind of primitive thinking belonged somewhere else.

Now I realize there is nowhere else.

It's a part of the human condition and the idea that some are more civilized, developed, or "modern" is a farce. My mother once said "wherever there are people, they're going to act like people."

We do indeed.

How dare I ever have thought that we were better? That our systems were better? That our way was better? There are people in power who seek to destroy and dismantle every single thing that made me think my country was great.

As a woman and a Southerner with open eyes, I know that injustice abounds, but being an 80's girl made me think that we were moving past our wrongdoings. We were going to be better. I thought that phase of our history was over.

But injustice is no phase. It is so very human. It always has been. To fight it, we have to be prepared to lose some things.

Lose our jobs,
Lose our self-respect.
Lose our ideas about civilization.
Lose our standing in the community.
Hell, lose our community.
Lose our identities, our privileges, our sense of being right, or for that matter, what "right" actually means.

You see, the systems that perpetuate injustice rely on our compliance, our silence, and even our cooperation. Systematic injustice is beyond a person or party. It's in the water.

Not falling into the gooey morass of societal norms means that sometimes we can't comply with what we're asked to do, we can't be silent, and that means, finally, that we won't be able to cooperate.

Sometimes, we just can't drink the water.

The Dakota Access Pipeline controversy, the "accidental" coal ash spills in the Tar River, and the lead in the water in Ferguson show that systemic injustice is in the water both figuratively and literally.

Systemic injustice is in the water, not just in the US, but everywhere.

To make a change, we have to learn to be thirsty. We will have to lose some things; some conveniences, some privileges, some income, but isn't it worth it?

John Stewart, the famous American humorist and social critic, said if we're not willing to act on our values, they're not values, they're only hobbies.

I want to say that acting on our values today means that we're going to have to learn to be thirsty.

And after 6 years, what do I know? Damnation, I'm thirsty.