Message of Love

Had I known it would have gone viral, I would have saved a copy for myself. However, we never know how the things that we write will be used…even obtained, so I won’t be so harsh with myself for not saving a copy for my own records. It was handwritten, on an irregular sized sheet of paper; very spur of the moment, it was. Naturally I wouldn’t have imagined that I’d need to make a copy of such a thing.

Who knows now where the copies are; however many there were, and honestly, it hardly matters. It was months later before I even discovered the popularity of my heartfelt sentiments. All I know is that it must have been pretty spectacular, even though I don’t really remember what I said. What I do know is that whatever I said last year is at least as true as it will be this year, but this time I’ll be more proactive. I’ll publicly share a message of love myself.

When I first came here, I thought that this island would be permeated with love. After working years and years to purge myself of repressed anger, a quick temper and judgement, I believed that I was ready for the experience that I would find here; arriving with an open heart, an open mind and a trusting spirit.

Little did I know, at the time, that love as I knew it, doesn't really exist here. Appreciation and individualized concern are non-existent, for the most part. You are only as valuable as the role you're expected to perform in society. Those roles are partially determined by beliefs that are agreed upon by the community at large. In other words, expectations are based on a communally determined belief system. Now, it matters little if this is "true" or not, what matters is that everybody believes it. Mass belief makes it so.

I do not exhibit the characteristics based on the expectations for the roles I was or am to perform. I never have. Divorced. Former single-parent. Ecumenical. Eat rice, hot things, fried food. Temperature doesn't bother me. In short, I don't match the expectations for a teacher, an American, or even a Christian. 

Now. I've been struggling with that for over 2 years. Most recently, for the past year, anyway, I've been on the receiving end of a hate campaign. I'm not saying that my actions don't warrant a little, ahem, reflection, both by me and others who may or not be involved, but the difference is, in a system of expectations as I described above, there is not only NO chance for dialogue, but there is also no opportunity for anybody to LEARN and to grow from life experiences. 

I'm thankful for my immediate community of neighbors and friends who do not conform to external dictates of social expectations and are full of love (in the way with which I'm familiar). It is because of them, and in particular, my Valentine, that I remain here. 

For further information, 

my previous blog posts describe everything that 

I've just touched on

... in one way or another.

Now, back to Valentine's Day. Every day for me is Valentine's Day. I have big love in my heart and in my life. I constantly struggle with the expectations, the objectification and the judgements that are not only thrown in my direction, but in the direction of friends and loved ones who are also not conforming, either by choice or circumstance, to social expectations.

As I mentioned, my sweet, handwritten Valentine note was widely distributed last year. It would be nice to think that it was done as an example of what love, true love, sounds like. 

This year, my handwritten letter of love, I am quite certain, will not be reproduced and shared without my knowledge, but as an act of remembrance, I'll share the following.

Happy Valentine's Day. May every day be one of unconditional love, honor and respect. 

May we love people, and use things, not the other way around. 

May every human being; woman, man and child feel safe, appreciated and honored in their intimate relationships. If not, may we all have the courage and compassion of St. Valentine, to defy the social edicts and honor love; the most basic of human needs and the foundation for a "good life" full of appreciation, peace and compassion.

Message of Love, The Pretenders

..the reason we're here

as man and woman

is to love each other

take care of each other

when love walks in the room

everybody stand up

oh, it's good, good, good!

...look at the people

in the streets, in the bars

we are all of us in the gutter

but some of us are looking at the stars (Oscar Wilde)

look 'round the room

life is unkind

we fall, but we keep getting up

over and over and over and over...

Me and you, every night, every day

We'll be together always this way