When I was in high school, I often dreamed about snakes.
Snakes on the ground; I had to step over them to get to class. Snakes covering the road as I road my bike home. Happily swimming underwater in a clear, blue pool, only to emerge to see snakes slithering along the surface. A sharp bite on the top of my foot, awaking to find that I had kicked the foot of the bed to shake the serpent.
At the time, I thought the snakes symbolized my life; unable to trust people or places - scariness and danger lurking around every corner. A few of my friends, in that cutesy hyper-sexualized teenager way, laughed that they knew why I was dreaming of snakes, but I knew that wasn't the reason.
So aptly put by my daughter many years later, it seemed that the ground was always uncertain. I had no solid ground, a place of safety, on which to stand. The ground was always moving. I had never thought of that before; only of discomfort, threats, and imminent danger. No firm foundation. Hm.
The last snake dream I remember happened during a time of great change in my life. I was 21 or 22 years old. In the dream I was of being chased around my grandparent's house by a huge and ominous snake. Round and round we went - I was terrified and ran up one side and down the other, only to have that snake at my heels. Unrelenting. As I ran I remember thinking, I can run like this forever or I can kill that snake. Somehow I was able to grab what can best be described as a stone mason's hammer. I turned on the snake, grabbing it by the head and pinned it down to kill it. As soon as I had it down to deliver the death blow, before my eyes the snake transformed into my precious pet, my cat Rayne. Unable to harm my cat, I let it go, only to see it once again become the snake and pursue me with renewed vengeance. If I recall correctly, I was finally able to kill the snake, but only with the knowledge that even though it looked like my cat, it was not. As soon as the hammer dropped, the snake coiled into a shapeless mass and died.I often dreamed of snakes.
Sometimes when I try to think of how to describe my first experiences here in Indonesia, the first description would be swimming - colors, advertisements, chaos, confusion, and buzzing motorbikes everywhere. Swimming; or treading water in a pool of snakes.
I thought I was going for a swim. I thought I knew how to swim and that was enough. I'd been a lifeguard in high school, afterall. That, however, is not enough when the pool is full of snakes.
Matthew 10:16
Pay attention, now! I am sending you out like sheep among wolves.
So be as cunning as serpents and as innocent as doves.
