A Lesson from Feline Friends

Our favorite cafe is a place where we can visit friends, have delicious coffee and even a tasty traditional beverage called Es Sinom, laugh, read a book, and enjoy the warmth that permeates the space – from the first floor to the open terrace on the top with the amazing views of the city. As is common with friendly places and kind people, all kinds of visitors are drawn in to share and be comfortable together. Two of the most precious guests, and now residents, are a mother cat and her baby.

Kopi Ireng at Oase Cafe

When they first arrived, the baby was less than a month old; tiny and completely dependent upon mommy for sustenance. The mom realized she had found a good place – the people were kind and fed her. They loved both her and her baby. She was finally safe from the struggles of the street. She became very protective of her new digs; she would absolutely not let another cat come in and she guarded her baby, and her new home, against other would-be interlopers with all her strength.

Last night when we arrived there for our weekly gathering, there was a new visitor. A small kitten, maybe 2 or 3 months old. A fluffy and clean kitten, it walked around as if it had found a new home, too. Where was the protective mother with her little baby? Even though the little baby isn’t so little any more, everybody knows that to a mom, our children are always our little babies. So, anyway – where were they?

The new kitten seemed relaxed and comfortable around people. Weird, I thought. Why has this one not been run off like the others before?

As usual when paying attention to cats, I learned something.

Later on in the evening, the resident baby cat arrived. True to form, she walked around and checked everybody out. She saw the new little baby sleeping on the lap of a friend and continued on her journey. “Where’s the mom?” I kept thinking.

The not-so-little-anymore baby - completely at home

Finally as we were leaving, I saw the mom with 2 cat friends hanging out by the side of the road near the corner of the cafe. If they were human beings, they would have been shooting the breeze and chatting amicably. Whoa! That’s the mom that won’t let any other cats come near her treasured safe space? Wow! Look at her now!

Then I began understand.

When resources are limited and we don’t know where or how we’ll get our next meal, the natural temptation is to hoard. To protect. To exclude. To save ourselves first.

But when we know we are safe, when we know we are loved and we’re being cared for, we can be more open. We can begin to share.

Now this isn’t to say that when we struggle we tend to be greedy, it’s only to highlight how easy it is to try and protect what we have. I recall working as a city planner and hearing complaints from surburban residents that there was another subdivision being built next to them and they’re cutting down trees and grading the land! I would nicely remind them that before their own subdivision was built, the rural residents likely had the same concerns. We can’t run around trying to meet our own needs and slam the door on others doing the same, or can we?

All of this thinking reminded me of having faith in God. Some verses from The Holy Bible, Matthew 6:

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. ... 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. ... 

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. ...

The mommy cat at the cafe finally got it – she was loved, she was safe, and she and her baby would be cared for and given food, as well as a loving home. Perhaps when she realized that, she was able to be friendly with the other cats, possibly even letting them come inside for a meal and to rest. She was certainly letting them closer than she ever had before. Maybe she knew that it was OK to share her good fortune with others.

My point is that if animals, especially cats, can love one another, share resources, and change their behavior when they realize they are loved, safe, and cared for, can we human beings with sincere faith in God ever do the same?

 

Peter and Ti at home. Different litters, different places of birth, different ages. One love.

Looking on the Sunnyside

This post is dedicated to my Grandfather

Being conscious of our thoughts and working through our emotions may sound like New Age mumbo jumbo, but I don't think that my Grandfather followed that path. He was a Methodist.

This may have happened when he was 91 - two years before he would pass away, or maybe this happened when he was 93 years old; the age at which he left us, but it doesn't really matter. The answer he gave to my Grandmother's sister was something that we often heard from him. And it is, I believe, how he managed to live so long and be such an inspiration to so many people.

He was in the hospital. He had respiratory heart failure. He was going Home.

"Well, Calvin. There's only one way out now and the road is coming to an end."

"Well, I know all that, but I prefer to look on the sunny side"

And there he was, lying in that hospital bed looking on the sunny side.

He was surrounded by his dearest family members, a staff of nurses and doctors who treated him with love and kindness, flowers and cards from former students and friends who loved him and that he had loved during his time as a teacher and principal.

The sunny side.

That's the sunny side. We can't control other people - what they do, where they go, how they think, but we can control ourselves and our thoughts. He chose to have happy thoughts. He chose to look on the sunny side.

Sometimes it's hard to keep our chins up in the world. Especially with what is happening now, but every era has had its challenges. I don't know who read more than my Grandfather. He was an academic and his library was an endless source of fascination for me - he had a little of everything, it seemed. He and my Grandmother also watched Walter Cronkite every night, they also watched Laurence Welk, too. He knew what was happening in the world and he did not live in a bubble of ignorance.

When faced with social change and the regular challenges of life, I know that instead of reacting with hate, judgment, defeat and withdrawal, he was moved to love more, to serve his community at every turn, and to never settle with my knee-jerk ideas and rebelliousness before he could clear his throat to tell me how to think on those things with reason, compassion, and what I now know would be called "grace".

My Grandfather was a Southern man. He came from a long line of educators. He had been an officer in the Navy and a high school principal. He didn't entertain silly ideas or "mumbo jumbo", but he also would not be reduced into pettiness or negativity. Rather than complain, or "belly-ache", as he called it, he did his best to do as much good as he could where he was. I never heard him say ONE word that could be construed as racist - and that's considering the definitions from both then and and now. The bottom line is that my Grandfather was many things, but one that he was not was a HATER.

It seems that the more we learn and grow, the more likely it is that we'll uncover things that make us feel ashamed or guilty, even hot-damn angry; about our nations, our cultures, even about ourselves and others. It's crystal clear to me and even though it gets hard  - anger, hate, resentment, and spite come a'knockin', but I'm not gong to answer the door.

I prefer to look on the sunny side, too.



Psalm 121 (NIV)
A song of ascents.


1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.


3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.


5 The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.


7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.